The Best Revenge
by Annamonk
Summary: Things go a bit differently for Spike and Buffy during Something Blue. The story emerges in the aftermath. It was inspired by the following- "It is impossible to suffer without making someone pay for it; every complaint already contains revenge." -Friedrich Nietzsche I don't own them, Joss and friends do, but I borrow them.
1. Chapter 1

Spike pulled Buffy down on him as they kissed. Her warm body pressed against his. He could feel the adrenaline buzzing through her system and he was so happy. They were going to have to move the wedding date up because there was no way either of them was going to be able to hold out until June. She pulled back to catch her breath. He traced the mark on her neck and felt her fingers move to his. She looked at him for a moment and then dropped back down to his mouth, their tongues battled as demons surged around them. He loved the way she tasted, the way she felt. His body was raging as she continued kissing him with abandon.

He heard Red's voice, felt Buffy's relief and his own. They'd be able to fix this then, and he could find a quiet corner to cuddle in with his intended. There would be time to tease and play. He grinned as her fingers brushed against his scar and little bolts of pleasure coursed through his body. There would be time, as much time as her responsible little soul would allow and perhaps a few minutes more spent trying to convince her to let some things slide. He was so happy. The bliss of being loved, of finally finding his place was more intense than he had ever imagined.

Suddenly, Buffy shoved back from him a look of distress on her face. He felt her pain stabbing through him as reality snapped back into focus. She said something inane and he sprawled beneath her on the cold floor of the crypt. His world narrowed to a single, painful realization, and he felt the agony of losing his dreams, again.

"Oh, bloody, buggering hell." He exploded, shoved Buffy away from him, and sprang towards her little witchy friend. "What in the name of all that's unholy have you done?"

"Leave her alone, Fangsalot." The whelp yelled and moved toward him.

"Stay out of this. You have no idea what she's done." He turned and flashed his fangs at the boy.

Buffy fell to her knees and started to sob. Her tears ran as she clutched at her stomach. "Make it stop, Spike."

"I can't. Your little witch has buggered us, but good." He glared at ceiling as he felt her grief intensify. He tuned toward the slayer on her knees in the dust before him and sighed.

"I reversed the spell." Willow smiled nervously.

"You can't fix everything with a counter spell." He snarled over his shoulder. "Stupid damn, magic. Bollixes up every damn thing."

Buffy rocked back and forth. Small animalistic sounds of pain escaped from inside her. Her face was wet with tears.

"Come on now, Slayer. Get up. Mucking about in the dust won't help a thing." Spike moved to help her to her feet.

Buffy dropped her forehead to the ground and her body rocked in time to her broken sobs. He wanted to kill the witch. He closed his eyes and imagined the feel of her warm skin under his fingers and the satisfying snap of her neck. Suddenly he was being propelled through the air as Buffy slammed him against the crypt wall, cracking the stone.

"No, don't even think it." Buffy growled at him. Her breath washed over his face as he met her red rimmed, teary eyes. He set her back from him gently, the fingers of his right hand trailing through her golden hair.

"Now I'm chipped, and I have to deal with you policing my every thought. I hate the whole bloody lot of you." He locked eyes with the slayer and saw her clutch at her stomach once more. He watched her struggle for a moment trying to form words.

"Sorry." She whispered. "It hurts."

He was already moving when her eyelids started flutter. He caught her before she could hit the floor. "Let's get back to the watcher's place. Give her some time to adjust."

"What the hell is going on?" The whelp grabbed his shoulder and tried to take Buffy from his arms.

"Don't, Xander.' Anya pulled him back. "You'll just make it worse."

"Make what worse?" Xander and Willow asked in unison.

"The feedback loop in Buffy." Anya grimaced. "It's not the best explanation, I mean the magic involved is so strong."

"Then we need to go research and fix this." Xander ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"It won't help either of them. I don't think there's ever been a vengeance so perfectly evil, and by an amateur." Anya looked at Willow thoughtfully.

"But I reversed the spell." Willow stared at Buffy in Spike's arms and shuddered.

"Well, Giles' apartment will still be a mess, his things broken, Xander and I will still be bruised and beaten, and Buffy and Spike will still be mated. It's collateral damage." Anya shrugged and frowned at Willow.

"We will find a way to fix it," Xander said as he grabbed Anya's hand.

"I've been around for a long time, Xander. There isn't a fix, but by all means let's go waste time researching." Anya rolled her eyes and jerked her hand free from his.

"Look here," Spike growled at them. "Weapons ready. I can't fight and Buffy is down for the count. You lot need to be aware. That stupid spell called up a lot of demons. They may not be attacking us at the moment, but that could change. Pay attention and stop with the bickering."

"Who made you the boss?" Xander puffed out his chest and glared at Spike.

"It's just common sense." Spike rolled his neck fighting down the irritation. "I could get her there safe as houses. A bit of vamp speed and she'd be safe, but she cares about you lot for some ridiculous reason. It would hurt her if I left you to fend for yourselves. So shut the fuck up and fall in line."

Willow and Xander stared at him in shock. Anya shook her head and grabbed Xander's hand. She gestured toward the crypt door and they followed Spike out of the crypt in silence.


	2. Chapter 2

Spike sat in the chair with Buffy cradled in his lap. A few hours ago she had curled her body into his, playfully kissing him. Now, she was limp weight. He listened to every beat of her heart, every catch in her breath. It was agony. Her soul scraped at him. She was a metaphysical sun burning him. He wanted to laugh, wanted to cry, and he wasn't sure if the emotions originated with him or her. He tried shifting his focus.

He watched as Giles drank and the witch and the whelp argued with flashing eyes and rude gesticulations. He gathered Buffy closer as their voices grew louder. Her body stiffened as she reacted even in her cataleptic state. He leaned his forehead against hers.

"Could you stop yelling, you're hurting her."

Giles swung his head toward them and shushed the others. He walked closer and set his drink down. "How do you know?"

"I can feel her pain and I'm starting to figure out what's mine and what's hers." He looked up at the watcher and frowned.

"Will she wake up soon?" Xander asked.

"I hope not. She'll start fighting the bond again. She can't help it, but it only makes it worse."

"Why is it hurting her and not you?" Willow asked.

"It hurts me, but I was fledged by Angelus. I can take pain."

"So can Buffy. She's strong." Xander snapped.

"Yeah, the slayer's strong. She's got to live with all my pain as well as hers. Do you have any idea how hard it is for her to deal with the things in her own damn life? Now, thanks to Red, she has mine to handle as well. Think about it, a slayer forced into the mind of a demon. She is literally walking through her worst nightmare. All the evil with none of the soulless relief."

"It wasn't hurting her before. She was fine while the spell was making you all lovey-dovey."

"Yeah, I'm afraid losing that happiness hit us both hard. Love makes accepting it all easy. She glowed like the sun in me and I loved it, loved her more for it. Now, it just burns. The worst part is we had it for a moment, that thing we both crave." Spike put his head back and rested it on the chair. "Everything you ever dreamed of ripped away in one horrible moment." He stroked his fingers through her hair and felt her tears soak his shirt.

Willow collapsed on the couch deep into her own tears.

"No point in crying over it, Willow." Anya looked at the witch. "There are consequences to what you do with magic. You can't fix this. There are going to be all kinds of problems for them. You should make a list of things they need and set about making this easier for them both. I'm fairly certain that's the right thing to do."

"What do you mean things they'll need?" Xander turned to his girlfriend.

"Well, he can't move into the dorm and I doubt Buffy will want them to move into her mother's." Anya mimed writing to Willow.

"Why would Buffy want to live with the bleached menace?" Xander turned back to his girlfriend.

"She's going to want privacy when the bond takes hold. Plus they'll need to be together most of the time. The mating ritual wasn't designed for loving couples. It was developed to seal alliances and to create family bonds with other lines. It's very rare because it takes such a toll on the couple." Anya looked up at her boyfriend. "It isn't a common thing."

"Then we break the bond thing." Xander said.

"And kill us both. This isn't a human thing, Harris. We can't get a divorce. We'll find a way to survive together or we'll die. Vampires like to keep things simple." Spike sighed and shifted in the chair. "We need a blanket or something. She's cold."

"Do you have money, Spike?" Anya asked him.

"I'll have to talk with the poof, but yeah. You don't live as long as I do without acquiring some."

"Good, let's make that list."

"A home with lots of windows and necro glass."

"What the hell is necro glass?" Xander started to pace.

"It's glass made by warlocks that allows vampires to be in sunlight. This list would go faster if you didn't keep interrupting, Xander. Do you think you'll have enough for the glass, Spike? It's expensive." Anya tilted her head like a bird considering its prey.

"I'll call Peaches when she wakes up. I don't want him here while she's this vulnerable." He rubbed a hand down her back, trying to soothe the pain emanating from her.

"You don't want him here because he knows how to reverse this." Xander pointed at the blonde vampire. "Giles, call Angel."

"Yes, I think that would be best." Giles muttered and moved toward the phone.

"I am continually astonished that any of you still draw air." Spike growled and started to move, but Buffy moaned and he stilled. "Fine, call the great poofter and when this gets exponentially worse for her I'll be the one dealing with the fall out. I'm used to cleaning up his messes."

Buffy screamed and arched in his arms. He tried to sooth her, but her screams wouldn't stop. She was shaking, almost convulsing. Giles rushed forward and tried to help Spike steady her.

Giles touched her face and her eyes opened as she shrieked and tossed his hand from her. Her eyes were glowing green. She sprang out of Spike's lap and growled as she darted behind the chair.

"I told you not to fucking touch her, but you don't listen." He stood and glared at the watcher. "Now, are you going to get it through your damn thick skulls that I am not trying to hurt her? If I were doing this to her the chip would fire. I'd be in worse shape than she is. The lot of you boneheaded idiots deserves each other."

"Spike," Buffy mumbled. "I'm gonna be sick."

He turned to catch her body as she started to gag and he carried her to the bathroom in a flash of vamp speed. He held her hair while she vomited, trying not to enjoy the silken tresses sliding on his skin.

"Am I gonna be like this forever?" She whined up at him.

He shook his head and watched as her eyes returned to their normal green. "I'm sorry, pet. You have no idea how sorry."

"I know what happened to you. I know what he did." Buffy wrapped her arms around her midriff and shivered.

"That's what bothered you?" Spike stared at her in shock. "Out of all of that, the twenty odd years of crap I took from him is what bothered you?"

"I knew about the killing, Spike. I'm the slayer. I've read your file."

"Knowing about it and sharing my memories are different things. It has to be hard for you." He looked away from her.

"It's not a walk in the park. I'm just trying to wrap my mind around this stuff." She stood and washed her hands and face. She stared at her reflection in the mirror and knew it for the lie it was. "Even if you weren't here in the room, you would be here now."

"Yes. We talked about it before we did it, Buffy. I tried to explain." He plowed his fingers through his hair. "We will never be truly alone again."

"I'm not accusing, just observing. This can't be easy for you, but you didn't pass out or throw up."

"I didn't fight it. No point is there?" He watched her look for him in the mirror. "I didn't do this on purpose. It's all buggered."

"Do you want to brood, is it a family thing? Or do we move forward?" Buffy turned and touched his arm. The searing heat of her fingers drew his gaze.

"I'm not much for brooding." He grinned ruefully and ran his fingers through his hair again. "So, forward, yeah?"

"I don't love you, Spike. You don't love me. So, what was so wonderful a little while ago hurts us more now. They way I see it. We treat this like a partnership. Make the best of it. It isn't what either of us wanted, but its what we're left with." She looked up at him and bit her lip curling it over her bottom teeth slightly.

"They might find some magic way out." Spike tried to believe the bullshit the boy kept spouting.

"Yeah, they might. We can fight. We're both good at that. We can fight it and hold out for a long time. It might be enough, but I can't fight it and be the slayer. I can tell you that. Just standing here is hard. So, how long until you dust when a demon gets lucky?" She turned to face him. She clenched the sink behind her to keep from grabbing him. "I have a job to do, a destiny. Maybe, in time, this will be easier, but for know pragmatism rules. We have to live or exist with it. No other option."

"I thought you'd kick up more of a fuss. I've seen you tilt at windmills before, and I see it now. Don't really want to focus on it much, but I," He paused and took a deep breath as the reality of her losses hit him. "This wrecks everything for you. No normal life, no picnics in the sun, all those silly things you've dreamed about." He grabbed her shoulder and looked down into her sad eyes. "All those things you deserve and I can't give you even one of them."

"Oh, and you're getting something out of this? You wanted to be loved, wanted Drusilla to come for you, and now you're bound to me. I can feel you ripping apart inside. So, we make do. Try not to hurt each other and go forward."

He nodded and pulled her into his arms resting his head on the top of hers. The sound of her steady heart drowned out all his thoughts for a moment. His world narrowed to her, her scent, her sounds, her taste. Her bloody warmth infused him as she gave up the fight. She shuddered and leaned into his embrace.


	3. Chapter 3

Angel burst into the flat in a flash of swirling duster and his eyes sped around the room until they found Buffy curled up and sleeping with her head against Spike's shoulder. His threatening growl filled the room. Spike looked up at him, blue eyes accepting.

"We're in for it now, Pet" He murmured as Buffy blinked and awakened. "Captain Forehead has arrived to save the day, to bring order and hush the squalling of annoying whelps everywhere."

Buffy smacked his leg, but watched in awe as Xander rushed to greet Angel happily.

"Now, that is not something I ever expected to see." Buffy spoke quietly for Spike alone to hear. "He hates all things vampy and demonic. Is there an apocalypse in the offing?"

"Isn't there always, Pet? This is Sunny-bloody-dale, after all." Spike rubbed her shoulder with his fingers as Angel brushed off Xander and headed straight toward them.

"Thanks." She whispered and turned to look at Spike. "You're handling this well."

"No point in feeding into it. I'll just ride out the storm. No need to make this worse." He touched her cheek with a sad grin.

She was nodding when Angel's hands closed on her biceps from behind. He yanked her away from Spike. She screamed and bit her lip to keep from begging for release as he dragged her back. Spike sprang up, reaching for her.

"Let her go, Peaches. Right this bloody minute." Spike growled as his face shifted and his eyes glowed golden. "You are hurting her. Think, you bastard."

Angel hugged Buffy to him and snarled back. Buffy whimpered and struggled against his hold before he looked down and noticed her bloody lip and the tears streaming down her cheeks. He stared at her in horror as she shoved away from him and rushed to Spike's open arms.

"Did the soul knock all the sense from you?" Spike sneered over her trembling shoulder. "I know they told you what happened. Did you want to hurt her?"

"Of course not, William. I would never hurt Buffy." Angel scoffed.

Buffy snorted and then broke into full on hysterical laughter. Spike just rubbed her back and glared at the other vampire.

"What the hell is going on?" Xander looked from one vampire to the other in complete confusion. Buffy quieted as Spike continued stroking her back.

"Buffy, can't be touched by other males until the bond is fully formed." Anya chimed in. "Angel had to know, so Spike is accusing him of hurting her on purpose or having lost his mind. I think that was all pretty clear, really."

"How do you know so much about this Anya?" Giles asked.

"When I was a demon I specialized in wronged women. A great number of vampire females used to call for vengeance against their Masters when the pairings were forced. They were so creative. It was always fun. Why do you think the old Master of Aurelius looked like that? He forced his favorite into a mating and she called on me."

"You're the reason why old Nest did the bat face impression?" Spike smiled at Anya. "That was fine work. He used to go on and on about vampire purity. Drusilla would start in on vain little pixies flitting about his head. Turns out old Nest was all mouth and no trousers."

"Why can I hear her?" Buffy asked in a quiet voice. "I mean Drusilla, I keep hearing her singing in my head."

Spike and Angel both looked at her in alarm. Angel reached out toward her, but pulled his fingers back before they could graze her skin. Spike tilted his head and nodded slowly.

"She is singing. I've learned to tune her out. Took for bloody ever, let me tell you." Spike shook his head in amusement. Angel sat down on the stairs and hung his head.

"She's an Aurelian." Angel's voice broke. "She's picking up on our internal link."

"I'm picking up on what?" Buffy looked between Spike and Angel.

"Blood bound family members share an ability to broadcast thoughts to one another. It takes a big energy outlay, so it's usually rare. Drusilla doesn't care. She'll sing for hours or natter on about her dollies. You'll get used to it."

"Spike, you don't like having my ex in the room." Buffy all but growled.

"That is not strictly because he's your ex, Pet. I hate him for reasons you're already acquainted with." Spike pushed her back a bit and looked into her eyes. They flashed to glowing green.

"You can't stand him here, but your ex is singing codswallop in my head." Buffy screamed. "Tell me how to shut her up. Now."

"You can't. I'm her sire and she won't stop for a direct order. Darla threatened to dust her regularly, but nothing keeps her quiet for more than a few days." Angel said softly.

"You get used to it, like having a radio on in the room but not listening to it." Spike rubbed her shoulder and she jerked away from him.

"So, I get to hear her in my head for the rest of my life or I can hunt her down and dust her." Buffy stalked around the room. "Dusting her is sounding good right now. Where is she?"

"No," Angel and Spike spoke in unison. Spike grimaced and Angel glared at him.

"What does all this have to do with anything?" Willow asked and every set of eyes swiveled to her. "I mean we called Angel to come and fix it."

"I can't fix this, Willow. They are mated. Look at her, pacing and agitated. It's what he does when he's upset." Angel shook his head. "It won't be long before the bond sets. All I can do is answer questions."

"And stare longingly at my mate. No droit du seigneur here." Spike snarled.

"No real need for it, is there, boy?" Angel responded without thinking. Buffy jumped over the couch and vaulted over Spike by pressing on his shoulder. Her feet landed square on Angel's chest and she knocked him flat. She dropped onto his chest, straddling him pressing one hand to his throat.

"You don't get to talk about it like that. I won't have it. After all the crap you put him through…" She shoved back from him, jumped to her feet, and pointed one finger at him. "Next time, I will rip your fucking head off. Do I make myself clear?"

Angel nodded slowly and Spike burst into laughter. Everyone looked at him oddly, but he just plopped down on the couch holding his stomach. Buffy tossed her hands up in the air and stormed off to the kitchen.

"Was Spike referring to what I would imagine…" Giles blushed and rubbed his glasses.

"Yes." Angel snapped as he stood up.

Giles handed his glasses to Willow and punched Angel in the nose, breaking it and causing blood to gush down his face. Spike fell from the couch to the floor as he erupted in laughter once more.

"Too good." He managed to squeeze out the words in between guffaws.

"What is too damn good?" Buffy demanded from the kitchen.

"First, my mate knocks him on his ass, then her human watcher shatters his nose. I could dust happily."

"If it wouldn't kill Buffy, I'd help you with that." Angel snarled and stared at Spike with loathing.

"Finally something we need," Xander pushed forward. "She's acting strangely. She screams when he touches her, but attacks him just fine."

"That's the difference." Anya smiled. "She can defend herself or fight if need be, but until the bond sets casual touching is off the menu."

"That's not normal." Xander pointed at Buffy. "This bond thing is dangerous for her."

"In the strictest sense, yes, but so is the air in a closed room or half the things she calls food." Angel looked at the rug under his feet. "Spike's harder than hell to kill, he'll be no drain on her life expectancy."

"There has to be a way to break these bonds." Willow looked at him pleadingly. "Some rumor you heard a hundred years ago, something."

"No. I've known a bonded pair, one. Some supposedly survive the passing of their mate for a while, but they usually welcome death when it comes. Most just dust at the same moment."

"If there is a difference, there's a reason." Willow tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"Willow, the stuff I know is hearsay. Vamp orders stopped doing this shit centuries ago." Angel shoved one hand in his pocket and looked away.

"Hell, Anya seems to know more than you." Xander glared at Angel with his normal animosity restored.

"She probably does. She's a millennia older than I am. Aurelius was still the Master of our line when she was human the first time." Angel shrugged. "She might be the best source alive. There are a few vamps that might know more, but you don't want that kind of attention here."

"Let's listen to Anya. Angel can tell us if what she says coincides with his knowledge." Giles looked over at Buffy as she kept her back to them.

"Let her be," Spike said softly. "She loves Angel. Having him here, with all that she's learned, hurts her."

"What do you mean by all that she's learned?" Willow looked at Buffy as she moved about in the kitchen.

"She knows." Angel rubbed his hand along his forehead. "I never wanted her to see me like that, as Angelus."

"She's seen you as Angelus." Xander looked at the grim faces on both vampires. "She's kicked your ass as Angelus. What's the problem?"

"She remembers my fledgling years, shares the memories, and to a lesser extent what happened here in Sunnydale. I wasn't much fun for you in the wheelchair." Spike said bitterly.

"I was beyond crazy, Spike. I'm sorry." Angel touched Spike's shoulder and Buffy growled.

"Hands off my mate or you will have no use of them ever again. No use for a mate of your own either. Hey, that might be better for everyone all around." She swung over the counter on one arm and landed with easy grace on her feet. She stared at Angel aggressively.

"Her eyes keep glowing." Xander whispered. "That can't be good."

"She can also bloody well hear you. She had slayer senses before the mating." Spike shook his head in exasperation. "She's magnificent, always knew it."

"This situation seems to be leaning toward the volatile, perhaps we should all sit and converse. Let cooler heads win the day." Giles looked at Buffy, but she only narrowed her gaze and growled.

"He's not going to touch me, Slayer. He knows better." Spike pushed his way through her pet humans and stood between her and Angel. "You don't love me. You don't want me. It's just the bond riding you. You love him. Do you really want to hurt him?"

Buffy stared up at him for a moment then grabbed him by the back of the neck and dragged him to her, slamming their lips together with brutality. Spike stroked her arms and kissed her back, letting her weather the storm. She broke her lips away and gasped for air. He pulled her into the circle of his arms.

"It's alright, Pet. It's just coming on faster because of all these emotions. Try to relax."

"Should I close my eyes and think of England?" Buffy snickered against his chest.

"Somehow, I don't think that will be much of a problem." He grinned against her hair. "I would rather not be the floor show for your assorted groupies though."

"He can't touch you. I keep thinking about all that he's done, and when he touches you," she shivered in his arms. "I can't begin to explain the rage."

"I'm with you," Spike traced a finger along her jaw forcing her eyes up. "We will sit in a chair together and get through all this bloody nattering."

"I understand that the social convention is to force us all to sit through endless hours of debate and hopeless research, but I am bored with it." Anya announced. "They probably won't allow us to observe the consummation, so really why are we sitting here?"

Spike and Buffy turned to look at her and then smiled at each other. Angel looked away from them.

"Just polish your glasses, Giles." Buffy smiled at her watcher as she noticed his blush. "You'll feel better."

"I have to say I like the demon bird. She's a bit of all right and perhaps the only one of that lot with a brain in her skull."

"Giles and Willow are all brainy, and Xander knows stuff. He can fix anything." Buffy smiled up at him. "But right now, she is the only one making any sense."

"We need some peace or things are going to get out of hand." Spike looked at Giles. "So can we talk particulars first?"

"I imagine so." Giles nodded.

"We need a place. What does the order still own?" Spike looked at Angel.

"I haven't sold the mansion." Angel said.

"Rather wrestle you naked in holy oil. Next." Spike spun his hand in the air encouragingly.

"Well, Darla bought a place by the college. It used to be something, but it needs work. It is habitable, but it's not much else."

"Old bird always did like to fix up places." Spike grinned.

"Do you still have that place in Paris?" Buffy asked. "That looked nice."

"We aren't settling in the city of light." Spike said.

"I know, but maybe a visit someday, if they have some demon emergency." Buffy bumped his shoulder gently.

"I haven't sold off anything. It's a bad investment idea." Angel replied.

"Then transfer Darla's place to me, and I need an account for the fixing and the maintenance." Spike looked at him steadily. "I'll make sure it transfers back to the family when it's time."

"Just live there." Angel said. "It was Darla's, so you should be able to stroll right in."

"No, for the rest of my life, you will have to be invited into my home. Are we clear?" Spike's eyes flashed golden as he stepped forward.

"Fine. I'll take care of it all tomorrow."

"No, get on a bloody phone and call the bank. You may not like dealing with the demons anymore, but they keep our hours. I want the deed in my hand as soon as possible." Spike stepped back and looked at Buffy. She nodded.

"Put my name on the deed as well, and the account." Buffy said and looked at Spike steadily. "I know it isn't my money, but we both need to be able to pay workers and the house will be safer if a human owns it with you."

"Buffy," Angel said softly. "I need to talk with Spike about all the financial arrangements, maybe you could give a list to Willow and the others of the things you need."

"Don't touch him." Buffy snarled and stepped away. Angel watched her walk toward her friends with naked longing in his eyes.

"You always did have luck." Angel looked at Spike and shook his head.

"Yeah, I spent the better part of my unlife with a broken vampiress so in love with you she never really saw me, and I'll spend the rest of it with a woman that loves you and mourns a future you denied her by leaving. Yes, sir, I sure am lucky." Spike turned his back to the group. 'Shall we get down to brass tacks?"


	4. Chapter 4

Buffy stared at the long line of the house in the moonlight. It was longer than it was tall and looked like some kind of hunting lodge from a fairy tale, all beams and plaster. She turned to look at Spike as he slid out from behind the wheel of his car.

"This whole place is ours?" She gestured to it with one hand.

"No, we can only use one corner." He rolled his eyes. "Of course it's ours. Darla had the eye for real estate. This is perfect. Quiet. Private. Close to the college. It's only a ten-minute walk to your classes if you head out through the woods. Plus, it is ours. No memories for us here but our own."

Buffy closed her eyes and thought of the sad look on Angel's face as he had watched her go. She still loved him, but she hated him as well. Everything was off kilter inside her. She shook her head as Drusilla started warbling again. How did they put up with it?

"Yeah, yeah, I know Dru's singing again." Spike said. "You will get used to it."

"Why can't I hear you in my brain?" Buffy opened her eyes and pulled her duffle and her make up kit from the car.

"Haven't used the skill. Don't usually. I don't want Peaches knowing what I'm thinking, and it only encourages Dru." He smiled fondly as thoughts of his lost love played through his mind.

"It makes this harder for you. I mean you have her in your head, you love her, and you can hear her, but I'm what you are stuck with." Buffy kicked a rock with the toe of her sneaker and traced its trajectory with her eyes.

"Neither one of us is thrilled to be spliced up, Pet." Spike walked around the car and grabbed her bag.

"We were." Buffy smiled sadly.

"Yeah," he looked down at her with a rush of tenderness, he pulled her against his chest with his free arm. "We were. Had it all for a bit. Didn't we?"

She nodded against his chest and he felt her tears soak through the cotton of his shirt. He rubbed his spare hand up and down her back. She leaned in to him, her warmth like a blast furnace, and wrapped her own free arm around him. They stood quietly and listened as his ex sang some inane bits from a musical he had seen with her on Broadway in the seventies.

"Spike, I'm sorry my friend did this to us. I'm sorry you're trapped in it." Buffy pushed back enough to look into his eyes. "It's sad and strange because I miss being in love with you. We had it for such a short time, and it wasn't real, but I miss it."

He stared into her eyes. The moonlight washed over her and he felt the stirrings of the bond. He dropped his lips to hers and she pushed up on her toes giving as she received. His hand moved into her hair, pulling her closer and letting her heat spill through his body.

Her hand shoved beneath his duster and found the smooth curve of his shoulder. She squeezed it lightly and moaned. Spike pulled back and traced the curve of her lips with his thumb. It would be easy to let the bond carry them away, easy to forget the pain for a few hours. He pulled her close for another hug and rested his chin on the top of her head.

They stood in silence for long moments listening to the peaceful night sounds around them. Buffy's hands shifted on his body, enticing him. He closed his eyes and took in her scent, the warmth of her living body making it richer, stronger. There was her soap and shampoo, some silly, girly perfume, and the sweet musk of her arousal. He smiled. She might always love old Peaches, but she would crave him, scream his name, claw his back. She would move into the full bloom of womanhood with him. He smiled as one of her hands settled above his waistband. There was so much to teach her, but no need to rush. Making the slayer his, making her want him over all others would be easy with the bond, but he wanted more. He wanted her to come to his bed without regrets.

She rubbed her cheek against his chest, enjoying the cool of his body. She felt safe in his arms. He might not love her, but he was never leaving. She pushed the tips of her fingers into his waistband and smiled when he didn't flinch away as Angel always had. He wouldn't hold himself away from her. His heart might never be hers, but he would give her everything else. She bit her lip. He would be patient with her, teach her how to please him. She closed her eyes and imagined his naked body under hers. A smile curved up one corner of her mouth slowly pulling her lip free of her teeth. He would help her and give her time.

"Should we go in?" Buffy said softly.

"Survey and take in just how habitable the place really is?" He pulled back and looked down at her blushing face. "I think it would be best."

They walked up the path together, holding hands. Buffy looked down at the slate pieces that led them through the garden arch, covered in some vine with white flowers. She sniffed the air and sighed.

"Night blooming jasmine." Spike smiled and glanced at Buffy. She was looking at the slates beneath their feet. He squeezed her hand and her eyes shot to his. She wasn't willowy. She didn't drift. She moved with purpose and power, but she belonged amongst this beauty as much as Drusilla would have.

Buffy was no dark princess; she was an elegant huntress, all leashed energy and lethal promise. His cock hardened as he imagined her hunting him through the woods, imagined her catching him with a shout of triumph and tumbling him to the ground to revel in her victory. He banished the inevitable comparisons for a time. Buffy deserved his full attention. He squeezed her hand gently and delighted in her gamine grin. They continued up the path to their house.

"Home, sweet fairy tale cottage on steroids." Buffy tossed him another grin as they confronted the giant double doors. "I thought Darla liked small places, like the one in Paris or the place by the sea."

"This isn't a pied-a-terre. This is a stronghold. She was setting down roots for the Aurelians. Might have bought the place years ago. She was a great one for long term plans."

"You didn't like her." Buffy said as they continued to stand next to each other, enjoying the night air.

"She wasn't the kind to like. You could respect her, fear her, love her a bit. She would have bled us all dry if she felt the need or sensed weakness. Dru only lived long enough to become strong because Angelus protected her."

"I can see things in your memory. I just don't get it. Why did you stay with them?"

"So, getting the hard questions out before we open the doors to our future, are you?" Spike smiled and dropped her hand. "Vampire love is an exotic thing. Our family bonds are complicated and visceral. Angelus barely tolerated me, but anyone from outside our family was dust if my hair was mussed. Darla would have been happier to keep Angelus to herself, but there were nights when I would finish brushing Drusilla's hair and she would take her place in front of me, sing while I toiled."

"Well, I guess we have time to figure this stuff out." Buffy bit her lip and took a step toward the door.

Spike grabbed her arm and smiled at her. He pulled her in for another hug and kissed her gently on the corner of her mouth. Her hands found his waist easily and their gazes locked.

"We do this once. There is only one first time through the door of our home. I want to do it right." He dropped a kiss the tip of her pert nose and swung her body up into his arms. She giggled and smiled quizzically at him.

"This is a vampire tradition?"

"No, but ours is a mixed marriage, and I am still an English gentleman." He smiled and pushed the doors open.

"The doors weren't locked?" Buffy stared up at him as he stepped through the huge opening.

"They were, but there are magics vampires use so we don't need a thousand keys. This house was charmed to open for Aurelians. When we shifted the ownership, the number of beings with access dropped to two."

"I didn't know that vampire's could do that. I thought thresholds required human beings to activate their magic."

"It isn't the same. It won't keep out vampires or other demons if they attack. That's why the doors are steel reinforced and made to look wooden. There's a bar here as well. She meant for this place to hold against all comers. Now, we've got your cozy little living soul to keep out all of the vamps that might think to try us." He smiled and spun her around to reveal a giant room with a thirty-foot ceiling.

"I know vampires can't fly, so how the hell do we get the spider webs down?" She grinned as Spike chuckled and eased her to feet. "What are the railroad ties sticking out of the wall for?"

"She had more than started work. It's a staircase. Want to see where it goes?" He dropped her duffle and took of running. Buffy set her bag down and looked around the giant house. She smiled. Alice had nothing on her now. She was well and truly down the rabbit hole. She watched Spike spin, his duster flaring out around him, and she took off. They sped up the so-called stairs and turned to look in the room at the same time. She gasped. The space was huge. She turned and looked down fifteen feet into her great room. He left her standing there, and turned to inspect the room.

"It's dusty." Spike carefully folded the sheets back and revealed a low-slung leather couch facing the triangular wall of windows. He smiled and sat down.

"I hope that's special glass." Buffy said.

"Don't know. Can't imagine she'd have spent the money." Spike watched as Buffy strolled to the baby grand piano.

"A couch and a piano," Buffy spun around taking in the room. "Weird."

"You're used to television, but a good book and someone to play that lovely instrument would be a nice night for me." She walked over and sat next to him on the couch. He smiled as she cuddled into him naturally. He stroked his hand through her hair.

"This just seems like too much. Angel said this place wasn't habitable." Buffy slid her hand along his denim-clad thigh. "But it seems okay."

"It has two pieces of furniture. He'd have been buggered trying to shop for it, but let's look at the rest of the place." He stood and ached a bit as her hand fell away from him. He ran to the edge of the room and jumped.

Buffy watched as he dropped from view. She stepped to the edge of the room and looked down. Her eyes met his. Amusement and challenge flared in his expression and he tilted his head. She narrowed her eyes. He beckoned her with one hand.

"Come on, Luv." He turned, but Buffy's heart raced. She wanted him to mean it. Wanted to be in love with him still. She stared at him and jumped, landing easily with a bend of the knees.

He took off at speed and headed for the open archway to the back of the house. He slid on the floor and came to a stop in a room of windows. A forty-foot wall of the damn things and French doors overlooked an empty pool. Buffy slid up next to him and giggled as she slung an arm around his waist.

"We have a pool."

"It's really more of a hole in the ground until we have it repaired and filled." Spike said and turned to look down into her smiling face.

"The kitchen needs updating." Buffy pointed toward the end of the room with fewer windows. He looked at the state of the art kitchen for 1955 and smiled ruefully.

"Not a high priority for vamps."

"Well, I'm not a vampire and I've seen you eat."

"We will order in while we have the work done." He tucked a stray hair behind her ear and gazed at her upturned face. The urge to kiss her, to drag her to the floor and have his way with her hit him like a tidal wave. He bit back an oath. He wouldn't consummate this relationship on a floor. He spun and headed toward the long hall. He opened doors and found rooms full of boxes.

He opened one room with a giant canopy bed and groaned. Buffy ducked under his arm and looked around the room. He watched her eyes flicker from item to item cataloging them.

"Miss Matilda and Miss Adelaide are here on the bed. Why don't they travel with her?" Buffy's voice sounded small and hurt.

"Miss Edith likes to travel. They don't." He shrugged. "We can box the room up and store it. This is your house." Spike watched her fingers trail along the large dollhouse in the corner.

"I remember when you bought this for her. You had it made and paid for it. Darla made fun of you for not killing the man." Buffy bent down and looked at the tiny glazed windows. "Why didn't you?"

"The man was an artist. I respected his skill. Darla backed off when the thing gave us peace for a whole six months. She even frequented his store when she needed a bauble to appease Dru." He shrugged. Buffy turned her fists clenched at her sides and brushed past him.

"Keep the room. It's your home, too." He stared at the ground for a moment. She wasn't such a bad sort. The goodness in her chafed at him, but she wasn't sanctimonious or intolerant. He shook his head and pulled the door closed on his past.

Buffy was opening the double doors at the end of the hall. He saw her body stiffen and rushed toward her. He came to a stop behind her and looked over her shoulder. It was the bed from Italy. He bit back a curse.

Buffy quivered. He felt her emotions boil over and she screamed. In a flash, she attacked the wood. She wrenched one of the post free of the foot board with a quick turn of her wrist. She demolished the wood to splinters in seconds. The feather mattress or the down coverlet was rent open and a shower of feathers floated through the air. Her guttural, wrenching screams gave voice to what he had long ago suppressed. He watched her whirl in the wreckage, a wraith of vengeance.

She turned to the large armoire and stalked toward it. She spun in the air and kicked it, shattering the lock. He watched as she ripped the doors and tossed them across the room to shatter against the wall. She broke whip after whip. He could smell her blood on the air. Her growling had become the only sound in his world. She wrenched handcuffs apart, and then she bent and picked up the giant antique, raised it over her head, and tossed it to the floor. It shattered into firewood. He watched her spin wild eyed, looking for another foe. Her eyes fell on the Saint Andrew's cross bolted to the wall. Her sobbing breath, as she rushed toward it, cut through his frozen reverie.

He sprang after her, wrapping her small body in his arms, he held on as she thrashed against him. Her body was flushed, blood running strong through her veins. He could smell it all around them. Heat poured off her as she tried to throw him off.

"It has to go. I have to destroy it. They don't get to hurt you. They don't get to touch you." She toppled them to the ground and clawed at the carpet, trying to break free.

"They can't hurt me anymore. You're here. You won't let them hurt me." He kissed her temple as she finally stilled in his arms. He gathered her to his chest, her body pliant in his embrace. He surveyed the wreckage in wonder. She had destroyed the reminders of his past, taken vengeance on old ghosts for him. No one had ever fought for him. In one hundred and twenty six years, she was his first defender. He felt some small bit of her warmth take up residence within him. He turned her toward him and stared into her glowing green eyes with his own blue ones. He traced her cheekbones with his fingertips. Then he kissed her.

Their lips met and her heat blasted through them both. Her hands pulled at his back as her legs spread wide and wrapped tightly about his torso. She opened her mouth and welcomed his invasion. Their tongues danced. Their teeth nibbled. Fingers stroked his sensitive neck, and came to rest on the scar she had created earlier. He slid his lips along her jaw and down her neck. He swirled his tongue over her scar. She groaned and pulled him tighter against her.

"You are mine." She squeezed him with her thighs. "No one is ever going to hurt you like that again."

He groaned against her neck. The fingers of one hand curled into her silken hair. The others dug into the flesh of her hip. Her answering groan burned through him, the most exciting sound he had ever heard.

"Bite me." She gasped. "You are mine. Mine to protect. Mine to comfort. Mine to love."

Her body arched as he sank his fangs into her and the elixir of her life flowed across his tongue. The world fell away as they became one being. Her heart beat for his. His body felt alive, more so than when it had been. Bliss washed through him and he broke away from her neck. He gasped against her collarbone before licking her wound shut. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment. His vampiric gaze glowed golden and flickered to blue as his human features reasserted themselves. They lay together, stroking each other, resisting the exhaustion that washed over them both. Sleep finally claimed them, curled together in the wreckage of his past.


	5. Chapter 5

Buffy woke up when a cool breath played along the flesh at the back of her neck. She sat up quickly and a flurry of feathers flew across the floor. Spike lay next to her, still sleeping. It had been his breath. Her heartbeat slowed a bit. She tilted her head and considered him, lying on the carpet, sleeping, breathing as the sun shone on his white gold hair. She screeched and jumped between him and the window before it registered that there were no flames. She felt her heart resume its normal rhythm as he sat up and looked around him for the cause of her panic. When he assured himself they were safe, he took in the ruin around them.

"You did a fine job exorcising my demons, Pet." He smiled at her seeing her outlined in the daylight with white feathers surrounding her. He glanced at his hands. "Well, look at that. The old bag did spring for the good stuff."

"Maybe we won't have to do too much." Buffy bit her lip. "Just some serious redecorating."

"It might be best to reduce the amount of smashed wood around me, yeah?" He teased her as he hopped to his feet. "We will just get rid of anything else for which you develop a hatred."

"Ha, ha." She stuck out her tongue at him. He smiled and grabbed her hand pulling her into an easy embrace. He touched her cheek gently, his thumb tracing along her cheekbone.

"Thank you for all of this, Buffy. No one else has ever taken up for me." Their gazes locked and his flickered as green and golden specks flashed in his eyes. "It's something I never expected."

Buffy blushed and turned her eyes from his. She played her fingers along his arms finding his cooler skin enticing. She took a deep breath and tried not to think about the joy she'd felt as he fed from her.

"We need to clean this mess up and go shop for furniture. I'm sure we can find some stuff for cheap." Buffy blushed. "I know this stuff was all antique and one of a kind, but I don't regret destroying it. I'll find us something. I'll be frugal. Ugh. Now I'm using mom words."

"It is a good thing we don't have to do this cheaply. I might be spared a further understanding of your maternal relationship. Besides, I know how to live in a crypt or a palace, Buffy. I'm satisfied in either, but this is our home. I want to build it together. Make it a place to enjoy our time together. The things we choose should appeal to us, should matter to us." He grinned as she blushed and glanced down again.

"Oh, crap." Buffy pulled back and looked up at him with panicked eyes. "I have to get to class, and figure out some way to explain all this to Riley."

Spike growled as he thought of the tall, blondish man-child in Buffy's memories. He knew she had never really seen the boy as a mate, but it didn't matter. The possessive surge washed through him and he dragged her back against him. He felt the crush of her breasts against his chest and slammed his lips down on hers. She opened her mouth and welcomed his invasion. Their tongues battled and she wrapped one arm around his shoulder, burying her fingers in his hair. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around him. The heat of her womanhood seared him through two layers of denim. He broke from her lips and peppered her face with tiny kisses, fleeting brushes of his lips.

"You won't be going to class today, Buffy." He whispered against her ear. "If we had a bed, you wouldn't be leaving it."

She shivered and a tiny sound escaped her lips, something more than a sigh and less than a squeak. She tightened her arms and legs around him. A groan escaped his own lips as he pulled back to stare into her verdant gaze. She licked her lips and he pulled her close, hugging her to his chest.

"I want you, Buffy. The bond makes it inevitable, but I won't force you." He spoke as he rested his head on top of hers. "I also want to have a bed, our bed. I want this to be right for you, to begin as we mean to go on."

Buffy let her legs slide from around his waist and she leaned back to look into his earnest face. She stared at him for several breaths. His chest rose and fell with hers. She touched his cheek and he turned into her hand like a cat. She smiled, big and bold.

"They are going to take your 'I'm Evil, Ask Me How' button from you." She rubbed her body up against his enjoying the flare of awareness that sparked between them.

"Buffy, those commando types did that already. I can't feed properly, can't fight. What use am I?" He looked away and she felt his sorrow. It was a vast thing, and she remembered her own experience with being less than she needed to be. Her mind scrambled for any words of comfort.

"You bit me to form the bond, and last night you fed like a normal vamp." Buffy bit her lip struggling with an idea that part of her rebelled against and another welcomed. "Could you feed from me, and get enough to live on?"

Spike looked down at her flushed cheeks and darting eyes. The Victorian man inside him loved this strange innocence of hers, the hesitant steps toward their mutual seduction. He stared down as she nibbled on her lower lip.

"It would mean a small amount everyday, Buffy." He pulled her chin up with the side of his index finger. "Your blood is stronger than most. It might work."

"Even if it isn't enough, you could supplement your diet with the…" she blushed red and her fingers traced against her healing bite mark.

"You want this?" He looked at her in wonder. She was so giving. Dru had frequently fed from him, but she had rarely allowed him to feed from her. Yet, here in the golden sunlight of morning, stood a sylph of a girl offering him the richest nectar to be found for no other reason than a bond they'd been forced into by cosmic mischance.

"I like giving you what you need. It doesn't hurt, not even a bit." Buffy blushed and the sweet scent of her arousal wafted around them.

He fought the urge to slam her against the wall and rip her clothes free from her body. It was not the initiation he wanted for her. He stared down at her, his golden goddess, his huntress, his mate. He had pursued a dark princess, but never truly held her. Now, through the caprice of fate, a true partner stood before him. He closed his eyes and pulled back from her. This needed to be perfect, he needed to give her what others had denied her, the give and the take, the glory and the surrender, the everyday together. It might never grow into love, but he knew love didn't always make for the best relationships.

"I think we might get on after all, Pet." He smiled when her eyes darted to his face. She smiled shyly at him. She was such a mass of contradictions.

"So, Giles will be here soon. He'll want to check on me. Willow will be here next, with some sort of food. We need to either clean this mess up or close the door and not let them see it. His lenses wouldn't hold up to that amount of polishing."

Spike smiled and rocked back on his heels. He looked at her, standing there, half expecting him to reject her. Dru started singing and he watched Buffy roll her eyes. He smiled. There had seemed to be so many lemons just yesterday. Perhaps the lemonade would be sweet after all.

Buffy was dragging the last bag of feather laced kindling from the room when Giles arrived. He opened the door at her welcoming call just in time to see Spike carrying the torture cross thing out, having unbolted it from the wall. The lens polishing commenced as he stared around the generously proportioned room.

"We are throwing it out, Giles. Not setting up a playroom." She smiled and trotted over to him. "It's a big place. I haven't even looked in all the rooms. I don't think Spike has either."

"So, you two are getting on?" Giles stared at a spot just beyond her head, trying to avoid thinking about all the information his research had yielded. It was unseemly to think of her in such a manner.

"We seem to rub together quite nicely." Spike smiled sardonically as he entered the room. Another flurry of polishing began and Buffy turned to glare at her mate.

"What's behind those double doors?" She pointed at a set of doors they had ignored the night before. Spike shrugged.

"Haven't left your side for more than a moment in quite a while, Pet. Your guess is as good as mine." He strode across the room with slayer and watcher in tow. He pondered the oddity as he turned the levers down and pushed the pocket doors into their bays. A room with floor to ceiling bookcases and a fireplace greeted their eyes.

"It's bigger than the library was in high school." Buffy spun and goggled up at two stories of empty bookshelves. "The ceiling has pictures on it. Why would anyone do that? It hurts your neck to look at them."

She spun in a circle as the two Englishmen exchanged glances. Spike nodded toward the crates piled in one corner. One was busted open, its contents haphazardly spilled across the floor.

"Shall we start cataloging the books?" Giles asked eagerly. Buffy groaned.

"I haven't even had a bite to eat, and you expect me to handle shelving all of those?' Buffy tossed her hands in the air and leaned back against a long table. "So far the only good things about this place are the windows, the leather couch, and the pool we have to fix."

Spike buried his head in the opened box and caught Angelus' scent. He had been here, had pried open this crate, for a reason. Spike looked at the assortment of texts, puzzled.

"What's up, Spike? You're thinking way too hard." Buffy pressed two fingers to her head.

"Peaches was here. Not recently, but he broke this box and the manifest is missing. I'm wondering what he took." Spike looked at her, but Giles was pulling the precious books out of the box and stacking them on the table.

"The Pergamum Codex was here." Giles said quietly.

"How can you know?" Spike asked

"He got it for us." Buffy said and rubbed her face. "I really hate that book."

"It's useful, Buffy." Giles took on his didactic tone. "There may be other treasures here. Things to help us."

"Or confuse us, send us reeling towards death, and scare us silly." Buffy bounced. "I need to burn off some energy."

Spike grinned and winked at her. She rolled her eyes and bounced again. She hummed, rocking back and forth on her feet until Giles glared at her.

"Find something to do or I will have you shelving books." Giles spat at her.

"Want to spar?" Buffy looked over at Spike.

"Love to, Pet, but I'm chip impaired." He tapped the side of his head. "Won't be much use to you when I can't land a punch without falling to the ground and writhing in pain."

"Then let's go open those crates in the other rooms while he falls in love with our books." Buffy smiled and Spike watched her bounce from the room.

"I'll want some say in the arranging of this room. Buffy may not show much interest, but I need to know what's here and how to lay hand on it." Spike nodded to the shelves.

Giles tilted his head and watched the vampire closely. Willow had destroyed Buffy's dreams of a normal future, as unrealistic as they had been. Now, his slayer was tied to this creature for the rest of her life. He fought down the sense of revulsion that welled up within him.

"Were you aware this collection existed?" Giles asked him in a steady tone.

"Yes, I even added to it. Nest had a fondness for it. Angelus liked to take his things. He won it in a bet. Darla must have brought it here." Spike grimaced. "There were other things of his we discovered."

"I didn't realize vampires accumulated so many things. I was under the impression you tended to live hand to mouth." Giles looked around the large room.

"Yeah, both work. I don't like living grand like this. Don't need it, but I have a human mate now. She needs things like plumbing. Can't expect her to live off what dosh I can raise as a toothless vamp. Plus, I think she might have ideological issues with the lifestyle." He shrugged and leaned against the doorjamb.

"Yes, I can see where that might be a problem." Giles picked up a book. It was leather bound and at least two hundred years old. "Forgive the impertinence, but where does the money come from?"

"Thinking we stole all this from victim's pockets?" Spike shook his head. "Couldn't have put the Judge together on pocket change."

"No, I don't suppose you could have done." Giles didn't flinch from his cold stare.

"Some things, we stole, others we brought with us. It all went for the same. I nicked some of these books and paid for others. There should be a crate of books from my living self's library somewhere. Is giving my mate what she needs a bad thing?" Spike looked out the window. "Is giving the slayer a bit of comfort wrong? Those she avenges wouldn't begrudge her this."

Giles considered the being staring off into the distance. There was a fine brain tucked under his bleached hair.

"I need to protect her. What Willow has done here, to the both of you…" Giles shook his head.

"Yeah, well done is done." Spike smiled bitterly. "I'll care for her. Make things easier where I can."

"She has no idea of what your mating will do to her." Giles stood and paced in aggravation.

"She knew what she was doing when we did it. We were in love, both of us so wrecked by those that abandoned us that the idea of never being apart was too enticing too resist." Spike shook his head and dropped his gaze to the floor.

"So, now you are forced together with the bond pulling at you both. She might try to resist, might try to run." Giles put his hands flat on the table.

"Your girl has more sense than you realize. She's the one that came up with the pragmatic approach." Spike said with a quirk of his lips.

"She was violent and erratic. Her behavior was not what I've come to expect."

"Oh, your training has kicked in." Spike sneered. "Worried she might lose her mind, are you?"

"No," Buffy said as she slipped up next to her mate and slid her hand into his. "He's got a plan for that already. He'll dust you if I lose my mind and start hurting humans. It's kinder than what the Council would do. He's worried that I might decide to stop slaying to keep you alive."

Giles had the good grace to blush as Spike burst into laughter. Buffy clung to her mate's hand and waited out the storm of jocularity.

"There's this thing you don't get, Giles." Buffy said in a soft steady voice. She held up their joined hands. "He'd rather I fight. He joined the cause, took an oath with Angel to spend his time at the toil and service of the slayer. It was part and parcel with this. Angel would have left us with nothing without that oath."

"Buffy, demons can lie." Giles fisted his hands.

"I know that, Giles. I'm not really all that blonde." She glared at her watcher. "Angel used his status as the head of the order and the sire of Spike's line to ensure it. William the Bloody has been dragged, kicking and screaming, into the light."


	6. Chapter 6

Spike watched as Buffy moved through the mall tethered by his hand as she bobbed and weaved through the crowd in front of him. This was not part of the plan, but things had gone awry far too quickly. The crates had gone unopened as Giles reeled from the impact of her carefully laid bomb. Apparently agreeing to fight for good in whatever limited capacity he still retained made him something of a curiosity. He had been afraid the watcher might pet him like a dog or check his teeth, but the man had found some restraint. Willow had failed to come, and, though it irked Buffy, he was relieved. The watcher had been more than enough for one day.

Giles loved his slayer like a daughter. Spike enjoyed watching him struggle with his warring instincts. He knew the man had researched the bond and wanted to know how they were progressing, but his paternal feelings kept him quiet. Spike grinned ruefully. They had spent the day fencing around delicate questions in a very English manner. It had been pleasant in its way.

Buffy had dragged him from their home as soon as the lowering sun permitted, her determination overwhelming his desire to stay away from the crowds. She had a goal. He could sense her determination. He felt her surge of satisfaction as she pulled him closer to her, reeling him in. She came to a halt and held out her free hand like a game show hostess. A grin split his face wide as he looked through the garish and colorful window displays into a mattress shop.

"They promise same day delivery." Buffy whispered knowing he would hear her even over the awful din of coalesced humanity. He bit back a chuckle at her shyness.

"Let's procure a bed then." Spike dropped a kiss to her cheek. Buffy giggled and glanced at him shyly as he spoke. "Something big, that won't squeak constantly."

He watched her pale and bite her lip. She was such a gentle thing, so shy, and then she was in turns aggressive and bold. He played his fingers through her curls to help her relax.

"This will be our bed. I want you to enjoy it. I want to do this right, Pet." Spike looked at all the people milling about them. "Buying a bed seems like an everyday thing, but it's still special."

"I want us to do this right, too." She looked up at him with wide green eyes and smiled. "Plus, sleeping on the floor sucks."

"I didn't mind so much. There is something soothing about bedding down in the wreckage of your past," Spike tilted his head.

"I just hope there's a comfy mattress in our future." Buffy blushed.

He smiled and rested his hand on her waist as they went into the store. He felt a flash of unease, but ignored it. Buffy seemed untroubled, and her instincts for survival were strong.

Riley Finn watched as his team dispersed through the crowd at the mall's food court. Blending in seemlessly, each man set off on the mission. They were observing the populace because their sensors had popped on an unusual pheromone marker. Cataloging and capturing new HST varieties was a big part of the job, but it was tedious. He detested masquerading as a college student. He'd rather be hunting the ones threatening the human population. The job required far more than he had expected when he'd been selected for this deployment. He pulled up his monitor and walked his route.

There had been no blips on his equipment, not even a slight uptake in measurable activity when he spotted her, blonde hair curling and golden even in the awful interior lighting. An evening spent at the mall suddenly seemed less dreary.

Buffy was just about the ideal girl, a little strange, but so pretty and nice. He'd thought about asking her out, thought about more truth be told. She might be off the market, but there wasn't any harm in looking. He leaned against the rail behind him and watched as she sat and bounced on one mattress, chatting to someone blocked by the sign in the store window.

He saw her quick smile and animation as she talked, laughing up at her companion. He imagined watching her eyes light for him. It was too bad she was going to marry some guy with a stupid name. He snorted, probably bad news. Girls like Buffy often fell for types that needed fixing then spent years getting broken. Some of the crap psychology they forced him to peddle was useful. He leaned a bit to the side to keep her in view as she sprang up and held out her hand.

Disappointment filled him as a pale, long fingered, male hand entwined with hers. He had hoped in some way that she had been pulling some crazy stunt trying to get into a sorority or something, but she was walking out of a mattress shop hand in hand with her intended. His eyes tracked up her companion and he felt his jaw drop. She was strolling out of the store holding hands with Hostile 17.

His breath caught and he fought the urge to attack. There were civilians present. The protocol was to observe and report. He stilled his breathing and watched as the girl of his dreams cuddled up to his worst nightmare. They moved through the crowd quickly with Buffy flitting toward the windows and dragging the vampire along. They had almost made it to an exit when Hostile 17 stilled.

He saw Forrest spot them from the level below and groaned. There was no way to help Buffy without dragging her in for study now. Walsh would have to be informed of the unique relationship the girl had formed with the HST. There would be questions and tests. A clean kill for the monster would be out of the question. He waved off the other man, signaling with quick darts of the hand. He turned back to the duo, observing their unique behaviors with an eye toward the lengthy report he would be filing.

Riley held his breath as he watched the pair. Buffy spun around looking up at the animated corpse with a questioning smile. The thing traced a finger along her cheek. She blushed and curled under the escapee's arm. She shook her head as her companion pulled her along with him.

"What is going on, Spike?" Buffy asked as he grinned at her. "We need to get home to be there for the delivery."

"This shouldn't take long." He twisted one of her curls around his finger.

"Don't complain about my window shopping if we are stopping for you, too." Buffy stuck her tongue out at him.

"Mind your tongue or I might bite it." He growled playfully. She grinned and bumped her shoulder into his side in a show of easy camaraderie

"Save the sweet talk for later," Buffy said. "Did you see that Farnloff demon? I was impressed with the disguise."

"They do a good job passing, harmless things for the most part. Knew a group in Venice. They made lovely masks."

"They're territorial. Sunnydale has an established colony, so I've never had too much trouble with them. They get a little cranky when their queen is nesting, kill off a few stray demons for me." She shrugged.

"Most slayers would kill them off on principle." Spike glanced down at her as they neared his destination.

"I'm not most slayers," Buffy grinned.

"Here we are then." Spike pulled her close and turned into a jewelry store. He watched her eyes go wide. "I did promise to get you something fitting."

"I thought we were here for necessities," Buffy beamed as he took her to the counter. "This doesn't seem like something we need."

"Bits and baubles have their place. A proper ring should grace your hand." Spike's voice mellowed.

"Be careful," Buffy chided. "Your culture is showing."

"Would you mind if we looked at some of the older pieces first?" He felt her amusement flare, but smiled when she reigned it in. "I want something unique for you."

Buffy looked at him as little bits of the man he had been struggled with the monster he had become. She touched his chest and smiled as she felt his breath coming and going in synchronicity with hers. His hand covered hers and pressed her hand to his chest more tightly.

The clerk looked meaningfully at the security guard at the front of the store as she took in the young couple starring into each other's eyes. They were not the desired clientele of this shop, stunning as they were. She sneered. They would do better at a pawn shop.

Buffy smiled when Spike moved off toward the glass cases. She trailed behind still fighting the sense of unease she'd felt since they'd left the mattress shop. She caught the security guard shifting positions behind them and bit back a laugh.

Spike looked at the estate section and found the ring immediately. It was perfect. The three stones set securely within the metal, nothing to catch her up in a fight. The metal had been worked to appear as tiny flowers surrounding the green flash of the emeralds. It was a ring for Buffy and no other.

"I'd like to see that one." He pointed at the ring and waited for the snooty young woman behind the desk to comply.

"That ring has real emeralds, sir."

"I wasn't asking for it thinking they were glass." He smiled and felt a flicker of annoyance for the uppity shop girl.

She pulled it from the case reluctantly, her body language screaming at him. He felt the predatory urges rise. This was the kind of human he found unappealing, easy to kill. Buffy frowned up at him and he shrugged in apology. Before reaching for her hand.

He carefully removed the skull ring from her finger and slid it back in place on his own hand.

"Is this another one of those things we only get to do once?" Buffy asked softly as he knelt before her.

"No, I imagine this is one of those things we can do as often as we like." He kissed her hand and slipped the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly. "It's French, if I hit my mark."

"Art Nouveau from the early 1900's." The clerk watched as the couple stood, lost in each other. "I'm afraid we'll need it back, now."

"No, we will take it." Spike pulled the black plastic card from within his wallet. Angelus had met his obligations well. The clerk blushed as she stared at the card. Buffy looked at him. "See if you can find something for your mum in the cases over there, Pet. A set of pearls or something she might fancy more."

"Why?" Buffy looked at him tilting her head slightly.

"Her birthday is coming soon. We'll be handing her enough shocks. Might want to sweeten her up a bit." He grinned as Buffy bounded across the store and Drusilla's happy song rose to a caterwauling crescendo.

"Whatever she picks, the ring and the set it was pulled from." He smiled as the clerk flew to do his bidding. In some arenas, money was the only power one needed.

He closed his eyes and listened to Dru. It was her singing that had led him here, helped him find the perfect ring and all the rest. She was such a contradiction. Her voice softened over the link and he felt a warm rush of affection for his sire. She had helped him purchase the matching pieces in secret with her screeching.

Buffy felt relief wash through her as Dru's voice retreated from her mind. It was getting easier to deal with, but the vampiress had some pretty awful timing. She clenched the case in front of her and spotted a simple ring, like a signet ring set with a stone and no symbol. The blue so closely matched Spike's eyes, it was perfect. She looked at her lovely ring and thought of sliding a band on his finger. The image was alluring.

The annoying clerk had turned obsequious at the flash of their new financial might. Buffy grinned. Giles always told her that to use the correct weapon well was better than beating your head against a wall.

"I need that ring," she pointed disdaining all niceties. "I want it engraved. The words Mine to Hold." The clerk nodded and scribbled the instructions. "I'll be here Monday to pick it up. Is that enough time?"

"Yes, Miss.

"Good. Add a pair of those coral colored pearl earings to today's bag. Wrap them nicely, please." Buffy felt Spike come up behind her. She leaned back against him as he wrapped his arms around her middle. Her hands came to rest on his. She wanted get home. The giant house was already home. No real furniture to speak of, but she felt secure there, at peace. She tilted her neck to the side and Spike kissed her throat gently. She closed her eyes and let the cool touch ignite something deep inside her.

"Isn't that the girl you were panting after?" Forrest asked as he joined Riley at the railing of the walkway across from the jewelry store.

"Yeah." Riley said trying to moderate his response. It wouldn't do to let the others know how far gone he had been.

"Is she an HST?"

"Not that I can tell. Her body shows as normal human on the scanner. She comes to class during the day. The girl lives in the dorms." Riley shrugged to cover his growing anger.

"So, a sympathizer then. Too bad, man."

"Yeah." Riley said again.


	7. Chapter 7

Willow waited outside in the cool night air, watching for Buffy to leave on patrol. Everything had gone crazy since Oz left. None of her friends really got it, and now, with this spell making everything worse, they all looked at her with irritation or maybe, if she was lucky, it was exasperation. It just wouldn't do. She needed to fix this, had spent all day digging through every magic shop in town. She had found a spell, a spell that wasn't quite perfect. A deep breath helped calm her nerves. It was simple to do. She looked at the bag nestled next to the tree trunk. Everything was in there. She had the spell to make things better, but none of them would listen to her about magic now. She could lobby the others, but Buffy would stop her. Buffy wouldn't listen, she just didn't comprehend how powerful magic could be used as a tool in everyday life.

Willow shifted trying to keep still. Buffy usually headed out on patrol earlier than this. Spike was changing her routines, and they had only been living together for a few hours. She considered going to Giles for a moment, but discarded the notion. He would want to do days of research while Buffy was trapped living with Spike. She shuddered. There was no choice. She had to save Buffy tonight.

When Buffy emerged through the massive front doors of the casa de vampire, Willow shrank back into the shadows. Spike called out from the door, his words unintelligible, and Buffy turned back. She was laughing, reaching out and hugging the dead thing in the spill of light coming out of his home. Willow dropped her eyes, not wanting to see what her friend was doing. She looked up again as Buffy headed out along the driveway, moving easily in a steady jog.

Willow shivered as she gathered the bag and headed toward the door. She shoved her hand in her pocket and grasped the small potion balloon concealed there. He would drop like a stone, unconscious, as soon as the liquid hit his skin. It would work. She scrunched up her face in determination. It had to work, for Buffy, for them all.

The doors were scary big. She gulped and knocked. Waiting for him to answer, she agonized over her decision one last time. Giles might find a better way, or help her with the big magics. The door opened and Spike looked at her with one eyebrow raised. He didn't smile or make any real effort to be friendly.

"You've just missed Buffy. She won't be home for a bit." He stepped back allowing her entrance without invitation. She nodded as she stepped into the brightly lit room. He noticed the bag hanging from her fingers. "Oh, did you bring her some more of her things?"

"Well, I wanted to help. I feel so bad about all this." Willow shrugged as she walked into the giant, empty room. "This place is huge."

"Observant, aren't you?" Spike glared at her for a moment. "Would you like the tour?"

"No, I'll just wait for Buffy." She stared at his feet. "Where do you sit?"

"In this room, we sit on the floor." He bit back the urge to kick the little witch out. Buffy wanted him to play nice with her little humans. He walked over to a large crate propped against one wall. He ran his fingers along the wood and grinned. "I've some unpacking to do. Would you like to help?"

"What's in the box?" Willow asked, trying to build up the courage to toss the potion.

"A painting I bought a very long time ago. I never thought to see it after Angel killed off Darla. She stored my things over the years. She wasn't kind or caring, but she was detail oriented. Then her prize offs her for another girl." Spike smirked and took a deep breath. "As head of the clan, he has the right to all the things we stored over the years. I wasn't much for collecting, but there were times I couldn't resist. It's nice that I don't have to go to him, hat in hand, again."

"It must be strange, having to do all of this. I mean you and Drusilla lived in an old factory. This must be so hard for you." Willow stared at the floor.

"Dru has to travel. When her mind flips she has to go. There's no time to close down a place. It was easier to live off the land so to speak. Doesn't mean it's what I wanted. I loved this painting, paid a nice sum for it, too. Now, I get to bloody well enjoy it."

Willow watched as he pried the crate open and jumped as he dropped the wooden side panel to the floor with a resounding clap. She looked up at the soft greens and warm golds of the old painting. It was easily nine feet long. There were hounds curled and sleeping in the foreground. A golden haired woman reclined in a field of flowers, sleeping, shaded by the trees from the afternoon sun, her body was draped in a white clingy kind of dress, one shoulder was bare and a golden band rode high on her upper arm. There was a bow and quiver propped against a rock, next to the river that flowed not far from the spill of her hair. It was lovely.

"She looks like Buffy, at least a little bit. Like Buffy gone voluptuous." Willow said. "I mean not exactly, but there is something about it that makes me think of her when I look at it."

"Yeah, I know. Thought of this painting that first night, when she was dancing at that seedy little club, and it hadn't crossed my mind in fifty years." Spike plucked the gilt-framed painting from the crate and carried it carefully to the wall opposite the front doors. "I want it here, want it to be the first thing guests see when they walk into our home. It's fitting. Hughes called it 'The Huntress in Repose'."

"So, you have art, and no furniture. That must be difficult." Willow pushed out the words through her dry mouth.

"We have some art. I've already hung another one of his in the library. It's smaller, but I think she'll like it as well. Would you like to see it?" Spike turned to face her and she bit her lip. "We have furniture in there. Well, a few pieces at least."

"Shouldn't we get this one up first?" She asked, buying more time. It was one thing to plan to dust a vampire, another to actually carry through with the act.

Buffy laughed and ducked as the lumbering demon attacked. It wasn't fast or very smart, but it was strong and she was enjoying the fight. She examined it. Giles would want details. It had scarlet scales, slightly curved talons, and yellow bird eyes. She grinned as it came straight for her. She flipped over it, and waited for it to realize it was charging empty air. It slammed into a tree and bellowed.

The last few days had played havoc with her sense of self. Having memories not her own was a weirdness. Spike had memories, good memories of things she abhorred. She knew the pleasure of life as a vampire, now. She rolled her neck, and forced her head back in the game.

The demon charged at her again. She spun to the side, felt the air ruffle her hair. It was good to be out, being the slayer again. She giggled as she spun away from the long talons again. She was really playing with the poor thing.

Spike was waiting for her. Their new bed was waiting for her. Dinner was waiting for her. A smile broke across her face. Maybe they could combine all three.

"I need to get home," she said as she pulled the short sword strapped to her thigh. "Play time is over."

Willow watched as Spike stood back and stared at the painting. He looked satisfied. He was planning some demonic future for her best friend, making her some opulent dream house. This needed to stop before Buffy settled in. Willow's hand closed over the potion balloon in her pocket. It filled her palm, with its squishy coldness. She needed to do this now.

"Buffy will be pleased, I think." Spike said as he turned to face her with a smile. "Thank you for the help."

She tossed the potion and watched it splash open on his face. He stood for a moment his eyes blinking and then tumbled to the floor.

"I have to save Buffy." Willow rubbed her arms, feeling nauseous. "It will be better once I've fixed this."

She dragged his body into the correct position. He lay with his eyes glazed and unaware. He didn't breathe or move. The first step was done. She looked for her bag and ran for her supplies. He might not stay down for long.

Buffy felt her body stiffen; unable to move, every muscle unresponsive. the red scaly demon was charging at her. She felt fear take hold. There was no way to escape. She could barely breathe. She closed her eyes with great effort. She thought of all she would lose, and her thoughts all turned on Spike. The demon slid its talons into her stomach. Unable to scream or react, she was shoved several feet, her heels leaving furrows in the dark earth under her feet. The pain burned through her body, and as suddenly as the paralysis had hit her it was gone.

She grimaced and beheaded the demon. Its momentum carried it forward. Demon blood spurted all over her. She shoved the thing's chest. As it collapsed, the talons dragged from her body with a splash of blood. She pressed her hand over the wound, her fingers splayed wide. It wouldn't be so good if her guts slid out before her healing kicked in. She considered lying on the ground and waiting, but her blood would be drawing the monsters soon. She had to move.

It was too far to the nearest pay phone, she winced as she turned slowly toward home. Knowing that her chances of making it to safety were at best slim, she fought for every agonizing step. Her body still seemed off. She fell to her knees. She looked up at the sky. The moon was half hidden from her. There were so few stars. She had expected to die in battle, not limping home from it.

Drusilla's voice filled her head. Buffy grimaced and forced herself back to her feet. She started to sing along, used the song to drive her forward, each painful step on the beat. When she faltered, the warbling voice in her head all but screamed. Progress was slow, but she needed to get home.

"I really need to master the mind thing. I could call Spike if I get hurt." She mumbled.

Drusilla raised the volume and Buffy sang along. Never had nursery rhymes been so appealing. Even Dru's voice became a comfort.

"I won't complain about your singing anymore, Dru." Buffy could see street lights in the distance. "You get me home, and I'll learn to sing along. We will harmonize and make the guys crazy. We will have fun."

Dru started to sing a new song. It was one Spike liked. Buffy felt a driving urge to get home, to get to Spike. She would be safe at home, with time to heal. She stumbled on, trying to move faster, fighting the urge to lie down and rest. She sang along, more mumbling, than singing, but it kept her moving. Spike would be waiting with warm Chinese food.

Her body wasn't healing. The bleeding should have stopped by now. She shuddered and went down to her knees. She could hear the road just a few yards distant. Dru switched to an oldie. Something Aretha sang about respect. Buffy managed to continue on her knees. Her body just wanted to stop, but her will kept her going. She was going to make it home to her mate. She crawled to a tree and pulled herself up, digging her fingers into the bark and wrenching her body back to its feet. She stumbled toward the road. She could see the glistening asphalt, damp from the sprinklers. Laughter broke from her lips, loud in the night. She turned and moved along the road, Drusilla singing a song from The Wiz. When she stumbled over a tree branch and went down, she pulled herself forward along the ground, clawing into the ground for purchase. She had to get to Spike.


	8. Chapter 8

He stared at the floor, unblinking. He couldn't move. Bloody buggering hell. Paralyzed again, and this time he couldn't move a damn thing. Fecking witch couldn't leave bloody well enough alone. She was dragging him like a sack of potatoes, no respect at all for the toothless vampire.

She was laying him out on his back when the pain hit. God, Buffy was hurt. He could feel the ripping of her flesh as his own. He stared at the ceiling, his eyes drying out. The stupid bint was going to kill them both.

The ones with control issues were always the nutters. It was such a shame, Angelus, little red witching hood, both of them needing to have things their way, neither one of them seeing the forest for the trees. Angelus had destroyed any chance he'd had to enjoy his unlife with Dru, and Red was stealing the future he had just begun to imagine with Buffy.

"I am sorry. I don't really want to stake you, but I have to get Buffy free of the spell. She will never forgive me if she loses her chance for a normal life." Willow nudged the side of his head with the toe of her sneaker. "You probably can't even hear me."

His head shifted and he could see the painting on the wall. The painted goddess had nothing on his girl. He thought of her shy smile as they had stood admiring their new mattress, the gentle flush that had tinged her cheeks. It might not bother him so much to dust if he'd had a few years to explore the promise of that gentle blush.

He could feel Buffy, fighting, trying to survive. The girl was all grit and sheer determination, but the pain was so intense. He tried to close his eyes.

Dru started singing. Of course, the daft bird would sing him off to dust with one of her dingbat medleys when the only voice he wanted to hear belonged to someone else.

Buffy was dragging herself on the damp pavement, using every bit of her power to make inches of progress. The lights had gone fuzzy, and she knew that seeing Spike again just wasn't in the cards. He would dust, waiting for her to come home for dinner. She closed her eyes and tried to dredge up enough strength to keep going.

She had always thought it would be Angel she thought of at this time, but she couldn't even bring him into focus in her mind. Her head was filled with Dru's voice, but she could only see his bright blue gaze and sardonic smile. She collapsed on the wet pavement, the pain finally fading as the darkness overwhelmed her.

The silverish car pulled up next to her and Giles surged out of his tiny vehicle. He fell to his knees and started assessing her. He rolled her once he determined that it would do her no further harm. He bit back the urge to vomit as he looked at the slashes in her abdomen. Why wasn't she healing?

Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled weakly up at him. One hand rose up from the pavement to grab at him. She missed.

"Please, take me home. I need to see Spike. Need to say I'm sorry." Her eyes fluttered shut and Giles scooped her up and put her in the passenger seat of his aging Citroen.

"I think we should head to the hospital." Giles said as he gave up on buckling her in, too afraid of the damage the belt might cause.

"Giles," she opened her eyes. "Take me home. The doctor's couldn't touch me without causing me more pain. I want to go home. I want to hold his hand. Please."

Giles nodded and closed the door. He trotted to the driver's side and slid in beside her. Prayers he had long since quit believing in running through his mind, he drove toward her new home.

"Need to tell Drusilla, I'm sorry," Buffy muttered as she shifted. "He can tell her. He can talk to her and be happy."

"Yes, Buffy, I'm sure he can." Giles choked out the words as she started humming some silly little song.

He turned into her drive with relief. The windows were aglow. It looked warm and inviting. He opened his car door and screamed for Spike. He knew the vampire could hear him, but was probably being difficult on principle.

"Spike," Giles screamed. "Get out here, Buffy is hurt. Stupid vampire won't come and help me when his life is in the balance."

"Get me in there," Buffy smiled. "Something must be wrong. He should be here by now."

Giles lifted her from his car with great care and headed toward the house. He walked under the garden arch and watched her wince as his fingers brushed her bare skin. He felt her shudder.

"I don't have a key, Buffy."

"Just get me close enough to open the door. I don't need one." She forced a smile to her face. His heart ached. She was too pale and the bleeding hadn't stopped. He was going to lose her, and he wasn't ready. He watched her hand touch the door and press and it opened. "It's charmed to open for me."

He pushed the door open all the way and felt his stomach drop. Spike was on the floor, laid out like Vitruvian man. Willow looked up as she marked on the wood floor with chalk. Her eyes were black. Giles felt Buffy stiffen and snarl as she shoved up, pushing free of his arms.

"What are you doing to my mate?" Buffy growled as she forced her feet forward on the floor. "Stop the damn magic now, or I will hurt you. If it's the last thing I do, I will hurt you."

"Just let me finish. I'm gonna set you free." Willow pleaded and stood up.

"No, I'll bet you're what's killing me." She stumbled forward, her blood dripping from between her fingers. "My powers aren't working right. My healing is failing. I don't have a whole lot of time left."

"I'll finish quickly and you'll be free." Willow bent down to pick up the chalk. "He'll be dust, and you'll be free."

"Sure, kill my mate, Willow. I'm sure we can dart off to the Bronze right after and celebrate." Buffy rolled her eyes. "Did he show you our bed? Did he tell you about our plans for the house? When did you decide killing him would be okay with me?"

"You don't love him, and he's a vampire. He's dead anyway." Willow rubbed her face with one hand. "It's the only way to fix what I did."

"This fixes nothing." Giles strode forward and smacked the chalk from her hand. "It might assuage some of your guilt, but it will destroy Buffy."

"Why is he laying there? Why isn't he fighting?" Buffy came to the edge of the circle and winced as the magic shocked her.

"I paralyzed him with a potion. He wouldn't lay down and just let me dust him." Willow pulled at her hair nervously.

"Spike, baby, I'm coming." Buffy closed her eyes and forced her way through the magical barrier. It burned across her already exhausted nerves. She could see him there, out of reach. She growled and pushed forward through the thickened atmosphere of the circle. The burning sensation on her skin doubled in intensity. She fell to her knees by his shoulder and pulled his upper body into her lap. "Can you hear me, baby?"

She heard her name whispered in his voice, but his lips didn't move. She shivered and stared down into his unblinking gaze. She could see pain in his expression. She worried her bottom lip with her teeth. He was paler than usual, his eyes rimmed red and sunken.

"You haven't been able to blink," Buffy said softly, and closed his eyes with a gentle slide of her fingers. She shuddered as the pressure of the magic pushed on her. Breathing was difficult, but the feel of his body against hers, the feel of his cool skin under her fingers, helped her fight back the darkness. "I wish I could do more. I'm so sorry."

The scent of her blood was driving him insane. The warm fragrance poured into his nose, filling him with purpose, with desire. He tried to move again, to find the source of the bleeding, but his body refused to respond.

In the blessed darkness she had given him, the warmth of her body against his was a gift. He could feel her straining, her muscles bunching as the spell worked on her, but she had come despite her wounds, despite the pain. She had come to his side. The scent of her tears joined the delicious scent of her blood. She shifted beneath him, moving them both.

She angled his mouth under one of her gashes, hoping her blood might free him from the paralysis. It was uncomfortable to hold the position, but at least her lack of healing might help him. She massaged his throat to help him swallow.

Giles watched Buffy for a moment, she glowed in the light, as she cradled and fed her vampire, a morbid and disturbing pietà. He had always assumed her last act would be one of sacrifice, her life for the world's safety. Here, his slayer was giving the last bit of her strength to prolong the existence of a vampire, and, strangely, he could see the nobility of it.

"Look at them, Willow. She doesn't want him dusted. She wants him to live. This isn't the way." Giles touched her shoulder and turned her toward the couple.

"The spell, that will be done spell, made her want that thing. I can set her free." Willow looked at him moving her hands in a supplicating gesture. "She can go back to normal once he's dust. It's the best option. You have to see it, Giles. You can't want another vampire in our lives."

"What do you think I am?" Buffy looked at Willow as she stroked Spike's hair with the fingers of the hand holding his mouth to her wound. "He's my mate. I have his memories, know his feelings, and wear his ring. Did you honestly think I'd be happy to come home and find him dusted?"

"Buffy, you're my best friend and I did this, I have to make it right." Willow pleaded with her.

"Stop the spell, Willow." Buffy glared at her before turning her eyes back to Spike. "This won't make it right. I'll never get over it. I don't know how to explain it. I wouldn't have picked this life, wouldn't even have thought to imagine it, but I want it. Please, I don't want you messing my life up with magic anymore. Let Spike go."

"You don't love him. It's just that wacky vampire bond thing he forced on you. I will make it better and you will be fine." Willow looked on the ground for the chalk.

"I don't love him, but I want to. I want to love him, want to make this work. I want Spike in my life." Buffy felt her shoulders slumping and knew it wouldn't matter soon. The darkness was creeping back. She shuddered and fought against her body, holding her mate, feeding him for as long as she could hold on.

"Willow, break the spell. It is killing them both." Giles said quietly. "This kind of magic is not the answer. You need to stop."

Willow dropped to the ground and touched the chalk circle, marring it. Her hair blew about her head in wild whipping motions and her eyes returned to their normal color." She knelt on the floor shaking as the magic dissipated with an audible snap.

Spike was in motion immediately. He pulled Buffy onto her back and held her down while he licked her wounds to stop the bleeding. Her body shook under his gentle hands and he sat back, fear ripping through him. She smiled up at him and he watched the gash on her forehead heal as her powers started to function.

"You don't do that again." Spike growled at Buffy. "I would rather dust."

"I was dying." Buffy raised her hand and cupped the side of his face. "I was dying, and I wanted to be with you. My last heartbeat needs to sound in your ears, okay?"

"Let's try to put that off for a good long while." Spike groused and cuddled her against him.


	9. Chapter 9

Buffy felt Spike's arms squeeze her tightly. Relief at his strength surged through her. He would survive this attack. She closed her eyes and let the comfort of his presence soothe her shattered nerves and battered body. Words started to pierce through the fog of her mind, and the rage that flooded through her gave her new strength.

"Giles," Willow pleaded. "You have to see this is necessary. She can't be trapped because of what I did."

"You almost killed them both. You didn't bring this to any of us because we would have stopped you. Not only are the risks too great, the morality of such an act is questionable."

"He's a vampire. We kill vampires all the time." Willow's voice took on the stubborn tone they all knew so well. Buffy grit her teeth and pushed away from the cool embrace of her mate.

"He's my mate," Buffy said as she stood. She rolled her neck as Spike stood behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Part of me, you tried to kill part of me, Willow. Do you get that?"

"It's all because of that stupid spell. You shouldn't be hugging him or feeding him or any of the things you've been doing. He shouldn't be anywhere near you, near any of us. How can you stand it, Buffy? He's tried to kill you." Willow took a step toward Buffy and Giles grabbed both her shoulders to stop her.

"Everyone in this room has tried that at one point or another. You tried to kill me today. How can I stand to be near you?"

Giles flinched and dropped his hands from Willow's shoulders. Willow took three steps forward. Spike growled, and pulled Buffy back toward him.

"Look at that, you're letting him control you." Willow pointed at them. Buffy shook his hand off her shoulder and looked at Giles.

"It's water under the bridge, Giles, so far out to sea that it makes no difference. I," Buffy paused. "You are my watcher. I don't want another, ever." He nodded and looked at her sadly.

Willow darted forward and grabbed Buffy's hand while she was distracted. Buffy screamed in pain and yanked her hand free. Her eyes flashed and glowed as she moved back toward Spike.

"This mating is turning you into some kind of demon. It needs to be stopped." Willow's voice took on a hard edge. "You can't really want this."

Rage flashed through Buffy, white hot and unforgiving. She snarled and Spike caught her as she jumped, stopping the attack. She struggled for a moment, but he stroked her hair and gathered her close.

"You really have cracked, Red." Spike said as Buffy shook against him. "She's weak from blood loss or you'd be a stain on the floor. You keep pushing and I won't bother to stop her."

"She deserves better than this." Willow's shoulders drooped as Spike pulled Buffy up into his arms and strode into the library. He fought back the urge to drain every last drop of blood from the bitch as his mate curled within his arms. It would be worth the bloody headache, but Buffy needed allies, needed friends. He listened as the little witch blathered on to the watcher. She was too powerful to ignore. They needed a plan. Wishing the girl would learn her lesson hadn't done it.

"Can either of you rouse the whelp and his bird?" He asked as he pulled away from Buffy's warm body.

"I can call him." Giles answered.

"We need orange juice and some sugary stuff for the slayer. Get him on it. Phone's in the kitchen." Spike nodded his head toward the back of the house. "Leave the witch's scribbles. I'd like to hear what the demon lovely has to say about them."

Giles nodded and dragged Willow away from Spike and Buffy. He made no effort to coddle her. The time of tolerance had passed.

"I think he might've let me kill her for this," Spike said softly and pulled Buffy's warmth closer to his body once more. Her steady heartbeat was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

"I would have," Buffy looked up at his face as he settled her into a chair. "We seem to be doing the damsel in distress thing far too often."

"I'll never get enough carrying you around." He dropped a kiss to her forehead and stroked her blood-drenched hair back from her face. It was starting to harden. "We'll need to get you cleaned up soon."

"I must look awful." Her hands picked at her ruined shirt.

"No, not awful at all." He smiled and dragged his eyes over her body. "Grimly determined, inherently lovely, and attractive as hell, that's you, Luv."

"You just want to lick it all off. All this lovely slayer blood," Buffy shook her head sadly. "Going to waste."

Spike bit back a groan. He looked down at her and considered giving up his determination to seduce her gently. It wouldn't take much to completely destroy what modesty her garments were providing. The image of her writhing under him on the top of the library table played through his mind, but he shook it off.

"Luv, you need to eat." He handed her one of the cartons he had deposited on the table when the food had arrived earlier in the evening. It was still warm to the touch. Buffy nodded and looked around for silverware.

"I need a fork or a spoon."

"Here you go, weapon of choice, chopsticks." Spike grinned at her. She made a face and took them from him awkwardly.

"I'm not very good with these," Buffy shrugged and stabbed one of the thin pieces of wood into a piece of chicken.

Spike pulled up a chair in front of hers and pulled the chopsticks from her hands. She smiled at him and he plucked a piece of broccoli out and offered it to her. He watched as her blunt, white teeth dragged it from between the chopsticks. He swallowed and looked down into the container.

"Oh, that's so good, Spike," Buffy said. "You should try it."

He pulled another piece from the container and held it up, watching it drip into the container. She bent down and wrapped her mouth around it while peering up into his eyes. Desire flared within him. She licked her lips, her devilish, pink tongue leaving them shining in the light. He put the container down on the table, and pulled her toward him. Their lips met frantically. He felt her hands slide under his shirt and shivered at her touch. He broke away from her mouth and took a deep breath.

"I almost lost you, Spike." She pulled him closer to her body. "That can't happen. I won't let that happen."

He felt her thighs come to rest on either side of his hips and groaned. She was everywhere, her arousal and the scent of her blood mixing on the air around them, the beat of her heart sounding in his ears, the hot flare of every touch.

"It's not going to, Luv. I won't leave." Spike trailed kisses along her cheek to bite her earlobe. "I really am hard to kill."

"Not hard enough, Spike." Buffy kissed him again and shuddered in his arms.

The bond started to hum between them and they both felt the small hairs on the back of their necks raise. Spike touched Buffy's lower lip with his thumb. His eyes flashed golden and hers glowed green.

"We need to stop, Buffy. I will not be shagging you on this table with the watcher in the house." Spike rubbed his thumb back and forth on her lower lip watching her eyes blaze. She nipped his thumb with her teeth and sucked on it lightly before pulling her body away from his with a sigh. Spike watched her grab the Chicken and Broccoli and expertly feed herself.

"You said you weren't any good with those bloody things."

"I not good, I'm great." Buffy stretched and popped another piece of chicken in her mouth.

"Wonder of wonders, I'm mated to an animated tiger." Spike shook his head mockingly.

Buffy giggled and waved a piece of broccoli in front of him mockingly. He felt the smile on his face before he realized how happy he was. He looked at this minx of a woman tormenting him with vegetables and joy flooded through him. They had survived and they were together. He leaned forward and licked a bit of sauce from the side of her mouth. He let the cool rush of his breath flow across her cheek and delighted in the small mew that escaped her lips.

"I'm going to make love to you soon. It won't be fast and hard on a table. I want you in our bed, wearing nothing but a blush. I want us both hale and hearty. I want to take my time, make you writhe and scream and beg just a bit." He pulled back a bit and watched her eyes begin to glow. "I want you, Buffy, all of you."

She trembled a bit and took several deep, steadying breaths as they sat staring into each other's eyes. He smiled, leaned forward, and kissed her lightly on her slightly parted lips. He rested his hand against his mark on her neck and enjoyed the hitch in her breath as the bond flared within them both.

"Be sure to eat every last bite, Luv." He moved back in his chair until their knees were the only parts of their bodies still touching. "You are going to need the energy."

"Don't you need to eat, too?" Buffy's eyes were locked firmly on his chin. Her face was bright red.

"I'm actually quite satisfied at the moment, at least gustatorially." He winked at her and tilted his head as he heard a car turn into the drive. "Sounds like boy wonder is here."

"Well, the gangs all here, might as well eat." Buffy rolled her eyes and took another bite.

"I'll go find out why the watcher and the witch haven't come barging in here." Spike stood and Buffy shook her head.

"He read all those things about the bond. I'll bet he's terrified that we might be indecent." Buffy giggled and coughed as a bite of broccoli lodged in her throat.

"Do try not to choke to death, Luv. It would be a shame to survive the witch's fury only to fall victim to farce." His fingers trailed along her shoulder as he heard the car doors shut. She licked her upper lip with one swipe of her tongue. He stared down at her with blue eyes alight with joy. "I can hold off the bond for a bit longer, but if you keep teasing me Anya just might get that show."

"Shut up," Buffy wiggled in her seat and looked at the table. "You wouldn't."

"We are good fighters, strong willed and fierce, but there is only so much either of us can do. If you play with the bond, we could wind up lost to it for a while." Spike tipped her head back up and stared into her eyes. "I wouldn't mind that so much, but I would hate to offend your modesty."

"Buffy, Spike, I hate to intrude, but you have a visitor that requires an invitation." Giles slid the pocket doors open further and looked at the floor.

"He was feeding me, Giles. I need to eat after that much blood loss." Buffy frowned at her watcher and Spike snickered.

"Regardless, Angel is here with a possible solution to your predicament."

"I've just about had it with everyone, and their damn solutions." She mumbled as Giles stepped away from the door. "Let's go see what nonsense Angel's cooked up."

"We could just ignore him." Spike said wearily.

"Let's offer him his bed back." Buffy smiled and Spike tossed an arm over her shoulders with a bark of laughter. She shook her head and sighed. "We have to hear about whatever insanity he's focused on and send him on his merry way."

"He might have found something, Buffy. Though it pains me to say it, he isn't a complete dolt." Spike looked at her from the side of his eyes. "Whatever he has found, we decide together. "

Buffy smiled and nodded as they walked into the living room. Giles and Willow were sitting on the first stair and Angel was standing at the door, annoyed and angry. Buffy sighed and looked at Spike. He touched cheek gently.

"Come in, Peaches," Spike smirked when the older vampire stepped into the house. "So, you have something to tell us."

"I'd rather speak with you alone, Spike." Angel looked at him steadily.

"No," Spike shook his head. "We make decisions together, so out with your cleverness or off with you."

"Buffy, trust me this is best shared only with Spike. Please talk some sense to him." Angel looked at Buffy. His eyes widened as he took in her damaged appearance. She slid out from under Spike's arm and took a threatening step toward Angel.

"We've survived one friend trying to save me tonight, so we are a package deal." Buffy shot a glare at Willow and crossed her arms across her chest.

"I realized there is one way to fix this. You need to take the day back, well, almost two days, but they'll go for it if you keep your vow to me, Spike. You can both be free." Angel looked at the couple, eager and joyful as he shared his idea. "We could leave now and everything would be back to normal in no time."

Buffy tilted her head and examined Angel with a knowing eye. This enthusiasm wasn't right. Angel didn't do happy, not even a little bit. He was hiding something. She looked at Spike and saw him shrug one shoulder slightly.

"Who are they?" Buffy asked.

"The oracles in Los Angeles. They can do this. I know it." His voice was sure, confident. Buffy rolled her neck and Giles groaned as he noticed the flickering in her eyes.

"You know they can do this?" Spike asked. He tracked Buffy through the room. He could sense the rage boiling up within her.

"I do." Angel averred.

"What day did you take back?" Buffy asked.

"Does it matter?" Angel looked at the floor. "You could be free, both of you."

"At least, he isn't trying to kill me." Spike smiled. Buffy nodded and stepped further back from Angel.

"I'm not jumping through some magical hoop. Magic doesn't seem to be real useful." Buffy smiled and gestured to her body.

"It isn't magic. They reset the clock. You don't have to remember it, if Spike goes only he would have to remember this."

"So, he loses everything again, everything we could have, and has to remember it." Buffy looked up at the distant ceiling. "I can't speak for Spike, but I think that sounds awful. He's been alone long enough. He shouldn't have to remember us when we never were."

"It has to be Spike. He could offer them his services. You don't really have anything to bargain with." Angel said.

"What did you bargain with?" Buffy asked as she moved to his left side, forcing him to turn. Angel grit his teeth. "Don't stand there and figure out some cute little lie. I know you. I know all of you."

"It doesn't matter," Angel turned toward Spike. "Think of Drusilla. You could be with her again. Isn't that worth it? You'll have a chance with Dru and a few memories."

Buffy giggled, and then broke into guffaws as Drusilla began to sing some oldie about everything and its season. She shook her head and looked at Spike. He had retreated behind a mask, but she could sense the pain in him. Her heart ached for him.

"If you want this Spike, I won't stop you." Buffy swallowed and jumped up onto the stairs above Giles and Willow. "Just be sure he isn't offering you a pig in a poke. What does that mean anyway?"

"It's not something you need to know." Giles said.

"Seems to be a lot of that going around." Buffy looked sadly around her home.

"When pigs were scarce in the Middle Ages, butchers would sell other meats as pork. They weren't as appetizing and they weren't worth the price. It's where the saying comes from." Spike looked up at her, golden, fragile, riding the fair side of shattered. She was glorious. He turned to face Angel. "You ducked her question before. What day did you undo?"

"Not your business, Spike." Angel snarled.

"It bloody well is. You want me to trust you, but you stand there with your secrets and your half-truths expecting me to buy the whole cloth. I've learned the hard way not to trust you." Spike stared steadily at Angel.

"Do you honestly think I would do anything to hurt her?"

"Well, there's two ways of coming at that, hers and yours. I'm leaning more toward hers at the moment, so yeah, you'd hurt her. You'd couch it in pretty words and false platitudes, but gut her and move on." Spike cocked his head.

"I had to leave. We couldn't be together. We couldn't take that risk." Angel's eyes darted up to Buffy.

"The way I see it you just like leaving." Spike strode over and stood between Buffy and Angel. "You left Dru and me cause things were complicated. We would have hunted for you, cared for you. Darla was a threat, but we weren't. You've got a bad track record with both of us, and come here asking for blind faith. You're hiding something. I'm not sure what it is, but we need to know before we can move forward." Spike glanced over his shoulder and watched Buffy nod once.

"It won't matter. You won't remember it anyway." Angel said through gritted teeth. "Why should you care?"

"Because you are concealing something," Giles said and stood up to stare at Angel. "I wouldn't want Buffy haring off into the unknown with you of all creatures."

"She should listen to him," Willow said in a defiant voice. "He loves her. He'd never hurt her."

"Not an argument you should be making right now," Buffy snarled down at Willow.

"Fine," Angel closed his eyes and tried to find an inner calm. "I traded back the day I became human."

"You became human," Buffy stood up. "You didn't come to me."

"It doesn't matter what I did or didn't do," Angel said irritably. "I know this will work. It worked before."

"You were human. You could have been with me, given me all the things you said I needed, but you traded it in." Buffy went perfectly still.

"We were in a battle, you took risks to save me. I wasn't strong enough as a human to protect you." Angel spoke as if speaking to a young child.

"I don't need protection," Buffy said as her eyes flared to life. Spike tensed as waves of rage rolled off Buffy. "I needed you in my life."

"The oracles said you would have a longer life this way." Angel said. "I did what was best."

"No, you did what you thought best." Buffy snarled. "You traded a life with me away on the word of some creatures. You had a choice and as usual you didn't choose me."

"Buffy, our time will come." Angel looked up at her with adoration.

She snarled and jumped at him. She landed square on his chest and drove him to the ground. She punched him in the jaw, and the bone snapped. Spike pulled her back.

"Buffy," Angel mumbled. "It won't matter after Spike does this. You won't remember. You can go back to your normal life."

"Normal life? What normal life? How am I supposed to have one of those?" She screamed as Spike held her gently from behind.

"Spike, are you ready to go?" Angel said, ignoring Buffy's outburst. "The sooner we leave the better."

Buffy flipped around and looked up at Spike. Her tear streaked face and glowing eyes tore at him. He pushed some of her hair from her face, and stared into her eyes.

"What do you want me to do, Buffy?" He said as if the others weren't watching them avidly.

"I want you to be happy, Spike." Her voice broke and he could hear the tears in her voice. "If you want this I won't stop you."

"Not really an answer, Luv."

"Spike quit dragging this out. Let's go." Angel stood and glared at the couple. "Buffy will be better off and you will be free."

Spike lost his grip on Buffy as she whirled and flung herself at Angel. The older vampire went down again, face first. Buffy knelt on his back and drove her knee into his kidney.

"Know this, Lover," Buffy breathed against his ear. "If it were up to me, you would be out the door alone. I don't want you here. If it were up to me, I would spend the rest of this night on my back giving Spike the ride of his life."

"Why is dead boy on the ground again?" Xander said as he passed through the open doorway with Anya by his side.


	10. Chapter 10

Margret Walsh stared at Riley Finn as the young man stood before her. He was really an interesting subject. She smiled gently to encourage him. He was upset, but his sense of duty had won out. She nodded to encourage his prattle. His interest in the girl was plain to see, and might be useful. He would do anything he thought might save her. Anticipation raced through her body.

"Vampires don't marry. I wonder what Hostile 17 is doing?" Maggie turned and tapped a pen against her chin. "We need to observe the pair in a natural setting. Set up a team to observe and report. Where does the girl live? We will need to set up a perimeter."

"She lives in the dorms on campus." Riley replied. "I will deploy team three to watch the perimeter."

"Graham blends in well and he is highly trained, a good choice." She paced back and forth, the low heels of her sensible shoes clacking on the concrete floor.

"He won't fail." Finn said. "Team seven should be reassigned to cover the patrols."

"I concur, and we need to step up the search for unusual hostiles. The more we know the better our chances." She smiled at him reassuringly. He needed a great deal of positive reinforcement.

"When will we bring Subject Summers in?" Finn asked.

His concern was apparent and might prove problematic. Romantic drivel was one of the worst difficulties she faced in creating her teams. The notion of love was laughable, but young idealists couldn't resist it. She looked at him and crinkled her brow in a show of concern.

"We need to study her, to see if we can save her." She watched as his reticence began to fade. His good-natured personality was easy to manipulate. He was perfect for her longer term plans. "That is better accomplished in the field for the time being."

"Yes, ma'am."

"If she requires our assistance, I have no doubt your friendly face will be a comfort to the poor girl." Maggie smiled briefly. "Dismissed."

She watched him leave before she sat at her desk. She took several deep breaths. Engineering Hostile 17's escape had been difficult, but she had hoped he would lead her to his vampire family. She needed to observe a family, that family. She pulled out her grandfather's journal, and flipped to the marked page.

"William the Bloody," she smiled. "I had only found weak, useless vampires when you fell into my lap. I wonder how you escaped the U boat. My grandfather noted it as lost at sea. Did the other subjects survive? They would be interesting, but not as useful."

She stroked the picture with the tip of her finger. He was a prize, the youngest of the Aurelian family. When she had seen him in the cell, it had been a shock, her grandfather's journal come to life in her very own lab. Now, he was in Sunnydale, apparently playing around with the coeds.

She pulled out the file on the girl from her class, Buffy Summers. She looked at the picture and shook her head. The impertinent blonde from her third section of Into to Psych stared at her. Pretty enough, but she wasn't anything special, nothing to draw such a hunter. She tapped her chin with one blunt fingernail. She needed more than her school file. There had to be something drawing him. She took the photo and placed it next to the drawing. Perhaps he was using her to procure his food. She might be nothing more than a simple-minded retriever.

He hadn't left the area, so the others must be close. Observation was definitely required. She wanted all four of them, lethal, beautiful, and under her control. It would be the fruition of her grandfather's carefully designed plans and a coup for her own research.

Vampires would be fine weapons, once she had mastered the control system. The chips could be easily tweaked and vampires could be reasoned with, at least some of them could be worked with. They could blend in easily among the human population, a finesse weapon. The Aurelian Family would be ideal, already tied together by some elusive bond, the ultimate wet team. Dropped anywhere in the world to do her bidding.

She put her hand down on the desk and rocked slightly in her chair. She looked at all the high tech gadgetry at her disposal and shook her head. The tools worked, but she needed the right subjects. She looked down at the picture and drawing on her desk. William, Drusilla, Angelus, and Darla would assure her funding for the foreseeable future.

"Well, Miss Summers, you may wind up serving the greater good." She plucked the picture up and examined it. "You wouldn't have had all that much to offer the world anyway. I'll use you to find my vampires and then we can test our controls with young Riley."

She turned to her computer and began typing furiously, outlining a series of experiments. The girl would be Finn's ultimate test. If he could be forced to overcome his natural protective instincts, she would have confirmation that the control system worked. Adam could be brought on line. She smiled.

Adam would be the first of his kind. The blending of technology and flesh to form the perfect soldier would be her greatest gift to the world. She would be the mother of warfare in the post nuclear world. Soldiers strong as tanks, unstoppable. No force could stand against them.

She cleared her desk and restored her office to order. Organization and preparation would secure a future for her children. Precision was required in all things. Her work would remove human error from the equation. She carefully replaced her grandfather's journal and added the Summers girl's file. She locked the drawer.

She needed to visit Adam. It helped her to think, to plan. There were circuits to integrate and she needed to check his tissue regeneration rates. She needed to refine the tests for Finn. Adam would be complete soon. If Finn proved docile and manageable, she could proceed.


	11. Chapter 11

Spike watched as Buffy chugged the orange juice Xander had brought. Even from a distance, he enjoyed watching her. Each swallow drew his attention to her throat. He felt a rush of warmth as he thought of her offer to feed him, to help him. He shook his head and studied the rest of the room. Angel was sprawled against the wall and the others milled about, chattering like gibbons. The noise and commotion didn't bother him. Her whispered words to Angel kept running through his mind. She wanted him. She had chosen him.

He could feel the pain radiating from her, but was it because he hadn't declared his choice or because Angel had once again betrayed her? He didn't know and couldn't ask in the crowded room. He looked at Angel and at Willow as she fussed over the old bastard for a moment. They really were cut from the same cloth, both of them, hurting Buffy for her own good, sure of the right. He shook his head.

He let his thoughts trail to Dru. She had gone silent, and he felt the peace of it. His dark princess had retreated. Though part of him missed her, and always would, Buffy had carved a place inside of him with her shy looks and bold beginnings. He wanted this life. This strange mixture they were creating was far more invigorating than chasing a crazy creature bent on some harebrained notion. Buffy had the potential to be a true partner. He watched her eat a donut and lick her fingers. A short time with her would be enough.

"I would like to speak with Buffy alone. If you would excuse us." He walked over to her and offered her his arm. Her hand slid into place and they strolled out of the room with some attempt at dignity.

They walked back to the sunroom and drifted apart. Buffy was staring at the floor, dejection and pain advertised in the slope of her shoulders.

"Thank you for taking the time to talk to me, Spike. I hope you…" She stopped speaking and twisted her hands in front of her. She was struggling to find the words to set him free. He smiled. She didn't need the words.

"I won't be going with Angel," he kept his voice low. "I would lose something precious if I did. He isn't wrong. You deserve better, but I'll be damned again before I let you go."

"What about Dru? You love her." Buffy bit her lip and looked up at him. He could feel her pain abating in odd fits and starts.

"I do, part of me always will." Spike pulled her into the circle of his arms. "I would imagine you'll have a soft spot for old Peaches once he gets gone and gives you some time to recover from his latest emotional drop kick. First loves are special."

"If you'd let me do a bit more damage to the bastard, you could see how little I give a shit about him." She groused and rolled her shoulders. The crinkling sound of her shirt drew his attention.

"Let's get you cleaned up a bit, Luv," Spike touched her cheek. "That can't be comfortable."

"I'm not sure how clean I'll get if you join me." Buffy smiled shyly.

"You'd be clean, very clean, but it might take longer than is strictly polite with a houseful of unwanted guests." He let her slide from his arms. "Go clean up. I'll start the festivities with the others. I'm sure the great brooder will be thrilled that I am rejecting his marvelous offer."

"Maybe I should stay with you until he is gone." Buffy worried her lush bottom lip with her teeth. Spike smiled at her.

"I can handle Mr. Soulful, Luv. Go have your wash." He touched her cheek with his fingertips. She took a deep breath and stared up into his eyes. "Go, or we are going to be very poor hosts."

Buffy giggled as she sprinted for the back of the house. Spike fought the urge to follow her and stared out the windows at the empty pool. He would make this house a comfy nest for his California girl, watch her frolic in the sun and join her under the moon. It would be enough.

He closed his eyes and summoned up an image of Drusilla. She was smiling, dancing to music only she could hear, dark hair flowing as she moved. His passion didn't surge. The allure of his mate was too strong now. The moon could only ever reflect the sun.

"You're staying with Buffy," Anya walked up behind him, "I mean you have a future with her. I'm sure you can see it."

"Yes, I'm staying." Spike looked over at the ex demon. "What was that spell the witch tried on us?"

"She reworked a spell for werewolves," Anya looked out at the pool. "It's brilliant work if you don't mind killing off one of the pair, but it wouldn't work on vampires, the mechanics of the bond are different."

"This thing Angelus keeps spouting about, would it work?" Spike asked.

"I thought you were staying," Anya looked at him with widened eyes.

"I am, but I need to know what has to be done if he tries to make some deal with the oracles. Buffy needs to feel secure." Spike's eyes darted back toward the hall Buffy had headed down.

"Then you should just have sexual intercourse and secure the bond." Anya cocked her head. "How have you held off the bond's urges?"

"Sheer bloody will power, Pet." Spike grinned. "And the worst timing in all the world."

"Yes, It can't be conducive to the act when her best friend is trying to kill you. She hasn't tried to kill me. Being human again has a few perks. I should get back to Xander." Anya smiled. "It'll be nice to have another demon around."

He watched her walk away with a confident sway to her hips. He shook his head and smiled. Xander was as lucky a bloke as any ever was.

He heard Angel approaching and felt frustration rise. The bane of his existence, here, in his house and there was not a thing to be done about it. He closed his eyes and focused on Buffy. He could feel her happiness. She was happy he had decided to stay.

"We need to go soon. We will never get there before dawn if we don't." Angel came to a stop behind him and laid a hand in his shoulder. He flinched under the touch and shrugged the hand off.

"I'm not going with you." Spike said softly. "She wants me to stay."

"Don't let a few hours of passion confuse you," Angel gripped him again and forced him to turn around. "She needs humans in her life, needs sunlight, and a normal existence."

"No, you think she needs those things," Spike knocked his hand away. "She needs someone to stay and love her, someone to love."

"So, you think to stay because she's lonely and you enjoyed the ride?" Angel snarled. "You want to make her live some kind of half life with you because her hot little quim fits you nice and snug."

Spike growled and balled his fist. He took a deep breath. He couldn't fight. He couldn't afford to be incapacitated by a headache. Things were too volatile for that.

"How's she going to handle your darker urges?" Angel asked. "Buffy is kind and good and sweet. She isn't built for life with a vampire."

"Don't talk about her." Spike growled.

"She'll fuck you, Spike. She'll drive you half mad with wanting her, but she won't love you. You'll bite her or try to assert dominance, and everything will go wrong." Angel glared at him. "She should be with a human. Look at how aggressive she's gotten since the mating. She's been attacking her friends and hitting me."

"None of you will listen. Willow's probably trying to find some new damned magical solution in my own damn library, and you don't see either of us as we are. Your jealousy is affecting every action you take." Spike stepped back and spread his arms wide. "You don't rule me, and you don't own her. Why are you here?"

"I know what's best." Angel crossed his arms across his chest.

"Sure you do," Spike shook his head, amused and saddened in the same moment. "All you can think about is my body sliding between her thighs. You're sense is lost to jealousy. We haven't had sex, yet. Not that it's any of your business, but we've been busy with other things."

"Don't lie to me, Boy," Angel snarled and grabbed Spike by the throat. "She has fresh bite marks on her neck. I know what that means."

"She fed me last night. Demanded I feed from her after she destroyed that bed of yours from Italy. She reduced it to kindling and broke every one of Darla's pretty whips. Then she grabbed me and pressed my mouth to her neck. You see the sunshiny, kitten side of the girl, not the dark huntress of a woman she has become." Spike choked out the words as Angel pressed on his throat.

"Then maybe I should teach you both a lesson," Angel shoved Spike up against the window. "Maybe you need to be reminded of your place."

Spike shivered and bit back screams of agony as Angel slid one hand under his shirt and caressed his back. He felt the rage at his helplessness rise within him. He might manage to throw a punch or two, but he'd never be able to stop him. It was worse than being a fledgling. Angel shoved a leg between his and he convulsed as the pain pushed beyond his threshold. He felt Angel's fangs tease at the skin over Buffy's scar.

"I'm will enjoy putting you in your place." Angel snarled against his ear and then licked the mark. Spike screamed. He couldn't let this happen. Buffy would feel it. It would hurt her. He slammed back into the larger vampire's chest with all the force he could muster. He was dragged back as Angel fought to regain complete control. Spike raised his feet, pressed them against the glass, and shoved back. They toppled to the floor.

He could hear Buffy running toward them and looked up to see the others watching as Angel attacked him again. Rage poured through him and he swung his body around and kicked Angel. No headache flared. He smiled as Buffy slid to a stop beside him.

Her eyes were glowing, her hair clean and damp. One of his tee shirts hung to her mid thigh. He wrapped his arm around her and felt the solace of her touch flood through him. He took a deep breath and kissed her cheek.

"Think I can handle this one, Luv." Spike looked down into her glowing eyes. "How about I hurt him a bit, then you can play?"

"I told him there were consequences. He doesn't get to touch you. No one gets to touch you." Buffy growled.

"How about we try no touching at all?" Xander quipped.

"It might be for the best," Giles offered.

Angel charged at Spike and Spike stepped aside with the flair of a matador, letting him rush by. Buffy giggled and stepped back waving her hands at Spike happily. Spike rolled his neck and bounced on the balls of his feet. He turned and launched himself at Angel in a precise attack.

Buffy sat next to Willow and avidly watched the battle. The floor was cold on her bare thighs, but she didn't care. Giles and Xander joined her. Anya sat on Xander's lap. Spike was a flurry of movements. He avoided most of Angel's blows, taking a few to gain him access to his foe. Buffy smiled as she watched him. He was meant to fight, meant to battle. He was a warrior.

"How is he managing this?" Giles asked as his eyes tracked them.

"Can we worry about that tomorrow?" Buffy smiled as Spike sent Angel to the floor with a well-placed fist. "I just want to watch the fun tonight."

"You don't hate being tied to him, do you?" Willow asked with an odd look on her face.

"No, it has some big benefits, and we seem to work. I wouldn't have chosen this, but maybe it's for the good." Buffy turned and looked at Willow. "But you need to cool it with the magic. I can't trust you at all. You keep forcing your ideas of what's right down everybody's throats and all we get is the pain."

"You said this isn't so bad," Willow looked at her with desperation.

"Will, please, you have to stop with the magic. There has to be something else, because right now, much as I love you, I'm gonna have to kick you out. I'll visit you on campus, but you can't come here until Spike and I feel safe."

"So, you're moving out of our room, and I can't even visit you." Willow looked at her with a wobbly chin.

"Yeah," Buffy touched her shoulder. "Don't try to hurt Spike again. I don't want it to come to that. I don't want to have to hurt you."

Angel slid to a stop in front of her, flat on his back and seeing nothing but stars. Buffy looked up at Spike, and glared. Spike laughed at her consternation.

"How am I supposed to have my fun now?" Buffy demanded.

"Wait a bit and he will come around," Spike shrugged. "I didn't do anything permanent. After all, he needs to be able to get himself away from here before the sun fries him to a crisp."

Buffy nudged her ex with her toe and watched his eyes flutter open. He started to get up and Buffy growled. He stopped moving and stared up at her.

"Spike got to have some fun, but I get to kick your ass out of my home. You always made choices for me. You decided to leave, you decided to give up a human life with me, and you decided my mate should abandon me the same way you did." She pulled him to his feet, twisted his arm behind his back, and walked him to the front door. "Well, I'm making some choices of my own, and you are not a part of any of them."

Buffy shoved Angel out the door and watched as he whirled around to face her. Her eyes flashed to the now familiar glowing green. Spike came to her side and she slid under his arm naturally.

"I did the right things for you," Angel insisted.

"No, you did what you believed was right for me," Buffy smiled at him. "If you had talked to me we would be in a very different place now. Don't try to take Spike away from me again. I'll be forced to make a decision about what I think is best for you. Something tells me you wouldn't appreciate my decision any more than I do yours."

"Watcher, could you do the disinvite spell," Spike asked.

Giles nodded and watched as Buffy traced her fingers along a small cut on Spike's forehead. She looked lovely and fierce. The girl had disappeared and the woman had emerged. He took a deep breath and relaxed as unorthodox as her relationship with Spike appeared to be, it might be the thing that saved her from loneliness and despair.

Willow looked at Buffy, wearing some ugly sex pistols shirt, and noticed how beautiful she looked. Spike stared at her with gentle devotion. Realization hit her. She had been seeing everything through the filter of her guilt.

"Can you bind my powers until we can find someone to train me properly?" Willow looked at Anya and Giles. "I don't want to be a threat to my friends and loved ones. I need help."

Everyone turned and looked at Willow in shock. She squirmed under their combined stares. She looked at them and shrugged awkwardly.

"It can be done, easily since your willing," Giles said.

"Red," Spike walked over to her. "I know you were trying to help Buffy, so how about we call it even and stop trying to kill each other?"

She nodded and shook his proffered hand. She looked up at him with a small, nervous smile. His smile was warm and genuine.

"We might be even, but Xander will probably want his own pound of flesh," she giggled nervously.

"I didn't imagine finding a place in Buffy's life would be easy." Spike smiled widely.

"You still have to talk to Joyce," Giles smirked. "And I wish you the joy of that."

"It never ends. She's gonna make Angel look lie a pussy cat." Buffy looked at Spike with panic in her eyes.

"Your mum has a soft spot for me." Spike smiled smugly at Buffy. "Makes me hot chocolate with little marshmallows.

"Takes axes to your head," Buffy grinned and mimed a chopping action. Spike blanched.

"I'm surrounded by beautiful, blood thirsty women." Spike looked at Buffy, Willow, and Anya with a grin. "There are worse fates."

"Now, I have to agree with a vampire," Xander complained to no one in particular.

Buffy grinned at Spike as he returned to her side. His fingers played over the scar on her neck and she shivered. He dropped a gentle kiss to her lips.

"Can we restrict the overt public displays of affection around me, please?" Xander complained.

"My house," Buffy smiled at Xander. "My rules."

"You have rules?" Xander's eyebrows raised high.

"Just the one," Buffy grinned. "My mate can kiss me anytime, anywhere."

Spike smiled and dropped to the floor to kiss the back of Buffy's knee. She squirmed away from him, and he collapsed in laughter.

"You did say anywhere, Luv."

"I'm gonna go eat the rest of my dinner," Buffy glared down at Spike and headed off to the library.

He watched her walk away, appreciating every graceful stride. He shook his head and grinned.

"I may be the luckiest vampire to ever exist."

"You better believe it," Xander said. "Take care of her, okay? I'm not stupid enough to try to kill you and taking a day back sounds fishy to me, so we are stuck with you. I get that, but hurt her and I will find a way to hurt you worse."

"Finally seeing what Anya finds so appealing," Spike looked at Xander steadily. "Perhaps, in time, we might tolerate each other."

"Yeah," Xander looked at him with narrowed eyes as Anya, Willow, and Giles waited by the door to leave. "Make Buffy happy and we'll see."

Spike nodded, waved them off, and headed into the library to watch Buffy eat. He loved watching her tongue curl around those blasted sticks. He shivered in anticipation. The remainder of the night stretched out before him, filled with delights. He stepped into the library and found Buffy fast asleep, curled in his duster.

"Worst timing ever," Spike shook his head and settled into a chair and snagged a book from the top of the nearest pile.


	12. Chapter 12

Graham watched Willow Rosenberg enter the building alone. It irked him to spend his time watching humans, but orders were orders. Priorities were not his to assign. He grimaced and shifted his stance. Watching Hostile Sympathizers would serve the greater good.

He saw the lights go on in the room. The curtains weren't drawn. It looked like a normal dorm room to him, full of normal, girly crap. They sure didn't seem the type to be pushing a demon agenda. This whole operation stunk of Walsh's little obsession with Finn. His little flirt might be falling in with a bad crowd, might even be in real danger, but instead of handling it. He goes by the book, runs to the boss lady, and fucks up their sleep cycles for weeks. All over some silly little blonde that doesn't even give a shit about him.

She drew the curtains and he lifted the parabolic microphone to listen. Still nothing. Just the rustle of clothing dropping, a long sigh, the rustle of more fabric, the girl was getting dressed. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. The sounds of pages being flipped and paper rustling came through loud and clear. She was doing her homework. Great, the others got to hunt real threats while he sat on the sidelines babysitting a student that was actually studying.

Willow sat down and leafed through the book of spells. Tomorrow her powers would be bound up tight. She shuddered. It bothered her, but she could have killed her best friend and Spike. It was odd to feel guilty about that, about killing a monster that had tried so frequently to kill them all. Buffy was building a life with him, and he wasn't like Angel. He couldn't even defend himself anymore. Except that he had beaten the daylights, or was it nightlights, out of Angel tonight. Whatever that chip did, it wasn't working the way they originally surmised. Buffy hadn't seemed concerned.

She stared off into space, letting her mind work, looking for an explanation. She needed to know about that chip. She needed a spell that would reveal the knowledge. Then she could just hack the diagnostics. She spun a pencil through her fingers. It was too bad they couldn't trace the commandos, but they just seemed to disappear whenever Buffy got close enough to observe them.

She tilted her head and looked at her history text. There had been a picture of some World War II general in front of a map. She let her mind flow, knowing that the solution was coming. She stood up and pulled all the cards, notes, and souvenirs from her corkboard and dug out a map of Sunnydale. She put it over the board and taped it in place. She started putting in her blue pushpins for sightings. She could remember most of the ones Buffy had mentioned. She grimaced as the pattern emerged. The commandos were always turning up near campus. There were outliers, but the design looked like a blue sun with the north side of campus as its center.

She wrapped her arms around her middle. The map was clear, but she could feel her mind driving toward something. She wasn't done yet. She grabbed her textbook and flipped to the illustration. Eisenhower and some other military types stared out at her from the page. Her eyes dropped to the caption. The men were all named. She wasn't interested. It had been a planning session for D Day. Orchestrating such an enormous battle had been difficult. She put the book down on her desk and sat staring at the map. Something was teasing at her mind, a bit of something she needed to remember.

She closed her eyes. The image of her mother dressed in her precise and severe clothing rose in her mind. She could hear her mother complaining about the college. Her father's indistinct murmurs faded out. The campus had overhauled four houses on fraternity row instead of building a new lab facility. Her eyes sprang open. North of campus, fraternity row, she pulled out her lap top computer and smiled. Magic wasn't everything.

The records were easy to find. The school had announced the temporary closing of four fraternity houses, had sent out letters assuring parents that all asbestos would be cleaned from the buildings and they would be reopened in a year, it was all there. It was all so ordinary. The school newspaper had touted it as a victory for students. Three of the buildings had opened again within a year, but Lowell House had only opened last spring. She looked up at the map. She pressed a red pin where Lowell House would be. It was in the center of all the others. She swallowed. This looked less and less like wild speculation. Where had the grant to update those buildings come from?

Willow stared at her computer. She needed to do this right. She knit her fingers together and stretched them out. At least there was a chance she could try out her new polymorphic code. It took her thirty minutes, cutting through false information and cover stories until she found herself deep in Pentagon records staring at two words, The Initiative. There were files back to the 1920's. She took several deep breaths and backed out of the system covering her tracks as she went.

The government was playing with demons, doing something secret with them. This was so not of the good. She closed her computer after wiping target parts of its memory. Her grandmother's weary face and tattooed arm played through her mind. Governments were not to be trusted. She looked up at the map and grimaced. She pulled each pin from it and returned them to their little plastic bin. Removing the tape, folding the map, she let her mind work. If Buffy had noticed them, they might have noticed her. She put back up her ephemera, no longer caring about any of it.

They weren't safe. The government was in Sunnydale, and it was not for the best. She bit the end of a pencil and stared at the book of spells. They needed protection. Maybe she could find a spell that would protect them and show it to Giles, so he could find a way to use it. She opened the book and started to read.

Riley Finn watched the feed from Graham's post and the others around campus. Buffy hadn't been spotted. He rubbed the back of his neck. She might be holed up in her dorm room, but his gut told him that was unlikely.

"I hate this," he pushed back from his desk and leaned back in his chair. "That monster is out there with her, corrupting her, destroying her, and I get to sit here, doing nothing."

Violence welled up within him, but punching the wall was ridiculous and would just wind him up in the med unit for an evaluation. There was nothing he could do. He wanted to go find her, but Walsh said observation was required. He ground his teeth. They were observing nothing while she was out there in danger. He headed for the elevator. He could get a work out in. A little exercise might help block all these thoughts. He grimaced and leaned back against the elevator wall.

Margret Walsh stood in her favorite part of the lab. She watched the video feed of Riley Finn as he worked out. His aggression was definitely on the rise. Satisfaction surged within her. The medicines they had derived from the demon bloods were working. Regular human subjects could be enhanced for battle. She smiled and turned her attention back to the matter at hand.

She stroked one hand along her current subject's torso. The female flinched from her touch. Maggie smiled and looked down at the vampire strapped to her table.

"You can make all this stop," she crooned. "Tell me what you know about the Aurelian Family, and I will let you go back to your cell."

"The Master was killed by a slayer a couple of years ago," the little female squeaked out.

"You already said that," Maggie smiled and snipped off one of the vampire's toes. She smiled and watched it poof into ash. "Tell me about Angelus."

"I don't know anything about him. No one with a brain comes to his notice. The whole family is dangerous. They'll kill you for amusement if you piss them off." The golden eyes leaked pinkish tears down into her brown hair. "I'm a bite shop girl. I'm not like them."

"You must know something," Maggie stroked the creature's skinny thigh with one blunt finger. "Perhaps about Darla or Drusilla."

"They've all been here in the last few years, but I keep my head down. I don't want to figure into their plans. At best, I'm just so much cannon fodder to them and, Lady, you'd be even less."

"You think they'd fare any better than you?" Maggie chuckled. "You're nothing but tools for me to use, all of you."

"Sure, whatever you say." The vampire's golden gaze fixed on the ceiling. "Never thought I'd wish the slayer had gotten me."

"You truly are a pathetic thing. There is no slayer. It's too ridiculous, one girl in all the world to fight back the evil hordes." Maggie rolled her eyes.

"Just kill me," the vampire shook off her demonic face and stared at Maggie with sad grey eyes. "I'm just a flower child that got snacked one afternoon in the Haight. I'm useless to you."

"You want to die?" Maggie cocked her head.

"No, I am dead, about time I lay down." She turned her head and closed her eyes. "I've never killed anyone, never really taken to this existence. Maybe there is something better in the dust."

"Isn't there anything you want?" Maggie watched the human visage crumple in tears and waited.

"I want to see the sun rise again," she sobbed. "And I want an Aurelian to suck you dry. That would be a real service to humanity and demon kind alike."

"Well, perhaps you'll live to see your precious Aurelian family bow to me and serve at my leisure." Maggie pushed a button and two soldiers came in through the now open door.

"She's going to kill all of you, and I'm supposed to be the evil one." The vampire snorted.

"Escort Hostile 27 back to its cell, and bring me Hostile 39." Maggie ordered. They nodded and dragged the creature out. It did nothing but whimper. Maggie sighed and turned back to the video monitors.

Finn was punching the bag. She looked at the data. There was a rise of ten percent in the strength of his punches. She had hoped for more. She debated the wisdom of increasing his dose, but decided to watch and wait. Some medicines had a cumulative effect. The growls and scuffling feet alerted her to the arrival of her new subject. She blanked the screens again and smiled at the soldiers as they strapped the vampire into place.

Buffy woke up and looked over at Spike. He was asleep with a book on his chest. He looked adorable. His chest was rising and falling. He was breathing. Angel had never done that, but Spike was different. She pulled his duster around her and stroked the leather.

Memories swamped her. He had been drinking, copiously. Drusilla was off with a demon, something with green scales and three horns. He was nearing his centennial and he was living alone. He spent nights at dirty, little bars with bad music and smoke heavy in the air. She could feel his desolation. Darla was off with Nest again. Angelus was missing. Dru was abasing herself with her new toy. He was alone. He started cutting the sunrises closer and closer, each day the thought of stopping and letting the sun take him grew in appeal.

He was thinking about finding a nice spot to watch the sunrise when Nikki had cut through Central Park on patrol. Going down in battle appealed to him more than seeing the sun, so he had stalked Nikki for a short while. They fought one night in the rain. Buffy could feel the blows, the ferocity. Then Spike had caught the scent of the boy. He had cringed away from the notion of killing a mother in front of her child and let her go. Their next battle had been their last. Buffy bit her lip.

Nikki had served for seven years. Somewhere out in the world she had a son. Buffy bit her lip as a touch of envy filled her. There would be no children for her. No part of her would go on after she died. She looked at Spike. He would die with her, but he would spend the rest of his life trying to keep her alive. There was irony there.

She bit her lip. He wanted a home, kindness, to belong. She looked at her ring and saw him kneeling before her again, his blue eyes shining. She could remember the surge of desperation that had surged through him tonight as Angel threatened him. He hadn't fought to spare himself. He had fought to spare her the agony of it.

She laid the coat in the chair and stood up. She walked over to him and grinned down at the picture he presented. He had been making notes on prophecies. She plucked the book off his chest and closed it, sliding a bookmark in to keep his place.

He woke up as she put the book on the table. They stared into each other's eyes for a long while. Finally, she held out her hand.

"Come to bed, Spike." She tilted her head as he nodded and stood. They walked slowly through the quiet house holding hands until they came to the doors outside their room.

He stopped and held her in place with a squeeze of his hand. She turned and looked up into his eyes. The passion was evident in his gaze. His fingers traced the planes of her face with exquisite gentleness. She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him. He leaned his head against hers. Time ceased for both of them.

"Are you sure, Luv?" He pulled back and looked down into her eyes again. She swallowed, bit her lip, and nodded. His answering smile brought a sigh to her lips. He opened the doors and swung her up in his arms again.

"I thought we only got to do this once." Buffy tilted her head.

"Per doorway, Pet, per doorway." He stepped into their room and kicked the doors shut behind them.


	13. Chapter 13

Spike felt the tremor in her body as the doors shut. It was delightful to feel her quiver. His predatory instincts flared and he took a deep breath, pulling in her scent. The heady aroma of her arousal played on his strained control. It was one thing to resist the demands of mating when they were dealing with the chaos of their lives, but it was quite different with her willing body in his arms. He looked down at her and smiled. She was biting her lower lip with her lovely white teeth. The defiant, brutal slayer was nowhere to be found. This woman had thrown a flaming organ on him once, but she looked more like a wilting, Victorian maiden than any he had ever laid eyes on. He settled her onto their lushly made bed and traced one finger across her abused lip, coaxing her to release it.

The bond was pushing at him, but he refused to give in to its demands. They would come together his way. No compulsion was going to drive him. Buffy needed him. She would yield whatever he asked at the moment, but he wanted her to surrender to him not the bond. She may have invited him to their bed, but he was going to make her want to stay in it.

"Are you sure, Love?" He pushed his fingers into her hair and trailed them out through the long tresses. She nodded and her gaze dropped to his chest.

"I want to make you happy, but I'm no good at this stuff. I'm sorry." She bit into her lip again. She seemed to shrink into herself with the admission, and he gathered her into his arms. Her body shook as he caressed her back with a steady hand. The bond was working on her. He could feel her tensing as the waves of desire hit.

"Buffy, we can wait." He traced a finger along her jaw, wondering how true the statement was. She was unstoppable in battle, but this fight was complicated. The bond was acting on them, driving them toward each other.

"I don't think I can fight the urges I'm feeling much longer anyway." The words spilled quickly from her lips. "I want it to be us, not the compulsion. I want to give myself to you and know I'm doing it."

Her brave words said in such a timid voice pulled at some part of him. She was a creature of extremes. He pushed her back and tilted her chin up with the gentle pressure of one bent finger. Her green eyes were brighter with unshed tears.

"What's with the waterworks?" He wiped one tear from her cheek after it spilled.

"I'm going to disappoint you and all we will have is compulsion." She scrunched up her face and wiped at her face with her own hand. "I can't even dress up for you. I'm in an old tee shirt. Wow, like that's really inspiring."

"Actually, you, in my shirt are rather inspiring. Watching you move around tonight in my clothing nearly drove me mad. Don't doubt yourself. You, in any scrap of cloth at all or lack of it, are inspiring. You won't disappoint me in any way. I assure you. You are mine. I've done a great deal in my existence, but I have never made love to my mate. This is our last first time. Let me worry about my enjoyment and yours." He leaned forward and kissed her gently. He let his lips caress hers, let them soften and melt against her heat. Her fingers clasped his shoulder convulsively.

He pushed her back onto the blue satin sheets. He had wanted black, but she had smiled at him and insisted on colors. He looked at her golden skin in such vibrant contrast with the cerulean sheets. She had been right. She was alive and vibrant, her surroundings should be as well. He watched as her cheeks flushed with her pumping blood. The beat of her heart, the catch of her breath, the heat radiating from her captivated him. She pulled at the hem of the tee shirt, trying to cover her glorious legs.

Her experience was so limited and really so disappointing. There was no doubt Angelus had been a clod as a lover. He knew she had given him a moment of pure happiness, but he hadn't returned the favor. He was sure of it, but he'd be damned again before he'd ask.

He let his cool palm settle on her ankle. She looked up at him with wide eyes, and shifted to allow him access to her body. He let go of her ankle and smiled reassuringly.

"No rush, Love." He smiled. "I want this to be a bit more, yeah?"

The human had obviously failed her as well. She had no positive experience of what was to come. He thought back over his existence and all of the lovers he'd had in his unlife. He'd never taken a virgin to bed, never deflowered a human victim as he drank her down. His partners had always been the experienced ones.

He looked at Buffy and felt a sudden, startling moment of joy. His living self had longed for this, a woman, inexperienced and shy, looking to him for guidance. This had been the pinnacle of his true desires as a human, his reason for writing the drivel that had filled his sappy mind. Buffy bit her lip again and looked up at him through her lashes, and he found it thrilled him as well. His glorious golden goddess blushed demurely and rubbed her legs together. He could smell her sweet arousal and the slightly acrid scent of her trepidation as they warred for his attention. The dormant poetic voice roared to life in him and he bit down on his own tongue to fight off the urge to woo her with stupid words. He couldn't stand for her to be amused at this sudden rush of things long past.

He bent down and chastely kissed her lips. He felt her tremble for a moment before she threw her arms around his neck. He pulled back and smiled gently at her, feeling the strength in her embrace suddenly give.

"You can't hurt me, Buffy. You don't have to be careful. I want you to feel free." He bent and nipped her bottom lip. She stroked his shoulder with one delicate hand, a hesitant caress. He pulled back and stared down at her once more, golden hair fanned across the cerulean sheets, wide green eyes watching him with such intensity.

"I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to even come close." Buffy whispered. "I think we've both had enough pain."

Her words rocked him. She cared about his pain, cared about his suffering. Everything she had done since the witch had stolen their free will away had served to shock him silly. He dropped a kiss on her lips, quick and sweet. Her hands slid up his arms to his shoulders and pulled him closer to her heat. The furnace of her living body was entrancing. Her skin was soft and flushed as he pushed up on his arms above her.

"I want to see you, Buffy." He pulled at the hem of her tee shirt and waited for her to acquiesce. She bit her lip and gave a nod. He slid his hands slowly beneath the shirt, hooking the hem with his thumbs. The silken slide of her skin under his fingers became the focus of his world. Each golden inch of skin revealed by his own slow movement drove the intensity within him higher. His hands came to rest under the weight of her breasts. The flutter of her heart seemed to double in his ears. He paused and looked into her eyes.

"Go ahead. Take it off." She said quietly. Her eyes darted down their bodies, and she bit her lip. He pushed his hands under her shirt and cupped her breasts in his palms. She panted up at him her eyes flashing to his as he flicked her nipples with his thumb nails. The instant response of her body to his dragged him deeper into the moment. She clutched his shoulders and arched up to him, an inarticulate cry erupting from her lips. He slid one hand around between her shoulder blades and used the other to pull the shirt free of her body, before sliding her back on to the sheets.

"You are a goddess, like sunlight trapped inside a human body." His awed tone brought a rosy blush up her just revealed skin. "The heat of you, this is heaven."

He stretched out next to her and trailed his fingers up her side. She sank her perfect, white teeth into her lower lip and pushed up his shirt until her hands rested against the cool flesh of his waist. Their eyes locked and he felt the flash of her hot breath against his skin.

"I need you to talk, Love. Let me know if something feels good or if it doesn't. Don't be afraid to say any little thing that crosses your mind. It will be better for both of us if you just relax and let go. I want us both so happy we can't quit smiling for days." He touched her side with his whole hand letting the heat of her warm his hand. She looked up at him with a grin.

"I like to talk. You might regret asking me to tell you everything, so don't say I didn't warn you." Buffy slid her hands under his shirt. "I'd like to see you without your shirt."

She giggled as he ripped the shirt off over his head, and her warm hands slid along his abdomen. The intensity in her eyes as they traced his naked torso rocked him. He had seen that look before, when they had fought. Her focus was absolute. He had always enjoyed going at with her, pressing his luck and testing his mettle. Now, he was engaged in a different battle.

"I've never really seen a man like this." Buffy said and her eyes darted to his face. "Not right in front of me. I mean, sure in a movie or two, but never like this."

He leaned on one arm and let her look at his chest. Her hands followed eagerly after her eyes. Time ceased to be measured in minutes. Instead, he measured it with each catch in her breath, every time her tongue slipped out to caress her lips and left them glistening. The idiots that had come before him had missed this, the magic of her desire. This was his alone. He closed his eyes and reveled in the moment as her fingers dipped down under the waistband of his jeans.

"Do you want me to take them off of you?" she asked as she slid her fingers around to the button fly.

"I want you to do what you want. Don't worry about me, Love."

"What if I want to worry about you?" She asked as she pulled him down on to her body. The heat of her flushed skin against his cool chest stimulated his senses further and he felt his face morph. He pulled back from her and tried to roll away.

"Don't," she pulled him to her with a great deal more strength. "I'm not afraid and it's part of you. How can I be comfortable if you can't?"

"I don't want you to feel like you have to feed me. I want to love you as a man." Spike said quietly as he shook of his demonic visage.

"Then don't worry about your face, just worry about mine." She slid her hands down his back to the waist of his jeans. "If I'm smiling, it's all good."

"What about screaming, I think there could be screaming?" He smiled at her and dropped a kiss on to the tip of her nose.

"Screaming might be okay," she blushed. "I'm sure you know more about this than I do."

"I know nothing about doing this with you, and I want to know everything. I want to know every sound you make, what makes you sigh and what makes you scream. I want to know what you look like after I bring you to climax and you realize I'm not through with you yet."

He watched as her eyes widened and her pupils dilated. The heat of her skin and the quick panting breaths she was drawing enticed him and he lowered his head to her shoulder. He cupped the soft undersides of her breasts and traced her collarbone with the tip of his tongue. Her body quivered and she turned her neck, baring the tender flesh he had fed from the night before. It was an innocent offer from a generous spirit, and he felt their connection deepening as he pressed a chaste kiss to the scar.

"Please," she sighed. "Show me. Love me."

Her words rocked him, and he went still, wondering what she meant. It was such a simple request, and yet no other female living or dead had ever asked it of him. Well, she had, but it had been the witch's spell talking, not her true desire. No one had ever taken up for him in the manner she had in the last hours. He nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck as images of her defending him and coming to his aide flooded through him. Loving her would be the easy part, but he knew he would never be satisfied until she said those words and left him with no doubts. He wanted her, all of her.

With a new determination, he slid down her body kissing and occasionally nipping her golden flesh. She whimpered and shifted beneath him, offering him a new delight with every movement.

"I am losing my mind, please," Buffy rolled her shoulders up and their eyes met as he flattened his tongue against the tender skin beneath her belly button. "I want you."

"You have me, Love. Be patient. I'm seeing to you." He grinned up at her and slid down a bit further. Buffy's body tensed under him.

"You don't have to you know. It's okay. I know guys don't like that stuff." She pulled at his shoulders, but he settled in between her thighs.

"Your lovers have been clods. I am going to make you sing." He caught her nervous expression from the corner of his eyes as he dipped down to run his tongue along her inner thigh. Her hands quit pulling at him and he bit back a chuckle as her thighs relaxed around him, allowing him better access.

"Spike, God," she breathed out as he circled the pearl of her womanhood with his tongue.

"Appreciate the raise in status, Love, but I'm still just a vampire." he said as she curled up to look him in the face.

"You are more than just a vampire, Spike. You're my mate. Mine." She wrapped her legs around his shoulders and squeezed him in an odd sort of embrace.

"We belong to each other, Buffy." He dropped his mouth onto her and smiled as she gasped and flopped back against the sheets. He continued to toy with her, trailing his tongue all around. Her breath caught and escaped repeatedly in breathy, little blasts. He started running his cool hands along her thighs, enjoying the play of muscles under silken skin.

He slid one finger up the skin of her inner thigh, enjoying the whimpers escaping from her. Her body was his, her enjoyment at his command. Breaking away from her sodden core, he stared up at her dazed expression with pride. He watched closely as he slid a finger along her drenched curls. Her body stilled and her eyes sought his. He smiled at her and slid his finger into her welcoming depths. She made a strangled sound and flopped back onto the sheets. He pumped his finger into her slowly until she began to rock against his hand.

He pulled his hand away and slid up her sweat slicked body. Their eyes locked as he settled his legs between hers. She was panting, each burst of air washing his face with heat. He lowered his lips to hers and she welcomed him back to her mouth eagerly. Their tongues clashed and swirled as he curved his body and moved into her slowly. She broke their kiss with a gasp.

"Oh my god, Spike," she said. He smirked and shifted his hips.

"Still not a god, but feel free to call me anything you'd like." Buffy tilted her pelvis slightly and he found himself seated deeper in her heat. Her heart beat frantically under his hand.

"I admit I'm relatively inexperienced, but isn't there supposed to be more to this?" She said and nipped his chin. "Don't you want to make me yours?"

He couldn't fight the smile or the odd surge of joy that ran through him as he began to thrust. She was extremely tight, making each movement exquisite torture. Their bodies melded and he felt her quake as she offered him her neck again. He thrust deeply and slid one hand between them to push her over, but she screamed and he felt her body contract on him. She arched under him and dragged his mouth to her neck. He kissed her scar and licked it as he let himself follow her into ecstasy.


	14. Chapter 14

Buffy woke and smiled as one strong hand flattened against her abdomen and pulled her in tight to a cool body. She sighed as Spike's lips played along the back of her neck. The perfection of the moment brought a tender smile to her lips.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"For what, Love?" He asked with the barest of whispers before nibbling on her ear.

"For being you and being here." She relaxed back into his embrace, letting her body slide along his.

"No place I'd rather be than here in your warm embrace," he said as he smiled against her shoulder. "Well, wouldn't mind if I was encased in more than your loving arms, but it's a nice start."

Buffy giggled and turned in his arms. Their lips met and melded as she stroked his side gently. His fingers traced lazy circles on her back as the morning sun glowed the through her hair. She smiled and slid across him, pushing up until he was staring at her.

The joy that shone so clearly from his face made her rapidly beating heart launch into overdrive. She stroked her thumbs along his cheek bones. The gentle moment stretched between them. Spike's wonder struck expression warmed her. This was what had been missing, this affection, this sense of being part of a whole. She dropped to his beautifully sculpted chest and kissed him with all the joy cresting within her.

"This is the way I want to wake up every day," she said in a gasping, breathy voice as his lips trailed along her neck.

"Do we have to restrict it to mornings, Love?" His voice was muffled against the tender flesh of her shoulder.

"No, I'm pretty sure we could do this whenever," she moaned as he licked along the mark that bound her to him. He pushed her up slightly and grinned at the dazed expression on her face.

She dropped her fingers to his scars and rubbed her fingers until he started breathing erratically.

"I love when you do that," she said. "The breathing thing is so sexy."

His quick smile was all the reward she had ever wanted. He rolled them and slid down her body, dropping light kisses along her stomach. She panted in anticipation, shuddering with every tender touch from her mate. The world fell away and they sank into pure sensation.

The loud chime of a door bell, broke through the sensual haze and Buffy bit back a curse.

"I will find a way to kill whatever is at the door," Spike snarled and caressed her cheek with a gentle lingering touch.

"Put on some pants, and no killing. It's probably a friend. They are the only ones that know we are here." Buffy smiled. "We can always pick this up later."

"We need to lay down some ground rules with your bloody friends. I don't enjoy being interrupted while loving my mate." He growled and dropped a fierce kiss on her lips. Buffy felt joy crest higher inside her at his words. She smiled and yanked him back down for a devouring kiss.

The door bell rang three more times before Spike broke away from her. He slid on his jeans and stalked from their room with a rumbling growl. Buffy pushed up from their silken sheets and smiled as she thought of Xander or Giles facing her angry mate.

She grabbed the sheet as she ran after Spike. He might find a way to kill them. It wasn't out of the realm of possibility. Rounding the corner into the cavernous great room, she stumbled.

Her mother stood glaring at her Spike. He looked at Buffy with panic in his eyes. She fought back a giggle.

"You had better have a good excuse for this, Buffy Anne." Her mother swung her arm in an all encompassing gesture. Buffy blushed and wrapped the sheet around her body more tightly. "That horrible Angel showed up outside our door last night spouting off all sorts of nonsense. Only, here you are, in this house with this vampire. What is going on?"

"Mom, relax. This isn't a bad thing. I mean it could have been, but it's so not. Come in and we will get dressed and have a nice conversation." Buffy pleaded. Spike nodded and stepped back to allow her into the house.

Buffy blushed at her mother's wide eyed assessment of their appearance. She stepped closer to Spike, instinctively seeking protection and comfort. His gentle purr soothed her, and he pulled her into an easy embrace.

"I'd like an explanation now." Her mother's eyes narrowed to slits as she glared at them.

"We kinda got engaged because Willow cast this spell and it so didn't work the way she planned. We decided to bond as mates while the spell was working. Now, we are mated." Buffy babbled as her cheeks flamed bright red. "Can we please go get some clothes on now?"

Buffy felt Spike's awkward embarrassment and clutched her sheet tighter in one hand so she could comfort him. No one wanted to face an angry mother in law after a night of passionate exchanges. Wow, she was starting to think in Giles's speak. This situation was out of control.

"I won't be put off, Buffy." Her mother's angry tone stung.

"Leave off, Joyce. We aren't avoiding this conversation. We just want to be properly attired. Our state of undress hardly lends itself to a discussion, lengthy or otherwise." Spike's fingers brushed along Buffy's shoulder soothingly. She could feel his desire to protect her getting stronger.

"Mom, please." Buffy looked at her mother with pleading eyes. This was going to be a horrible disaster.

"Fine, go, but no more delays. This will be explained or heads will roll. Am I clear?" her mom looked so fierce. Buffy was awed and Spike was more than a little intimidated. She could feel his trepidation. Images of her mother with an axe kept surfacing as his thoughts broadcast to her. Buffy nodded and led her mate from the room quickly.

She sped through the house and groaned when she reached their room. Spike looked up at her with alarm.

"What's wrong?" He spoke softly as if her mother could hear them.

"She doesn't have super hearing like us. Relax." Buffy smiled as he swallowed and then nodded.

"Never imagined I would be faced with an angry mother in law in my all together," he said with a grimace.

"Hey, you had jeans. I'm the one with nothing to wear. I can't get decent. Mom is going to be so pissed. Angel just had to make more trouble. Didn't he?" Buffy let the sheet slide to the ground and stood facing Spike in all her naked glory.

"You are always decent, Mate. Don't let this ruin your day. We will fix this. Your mum will adore me, eventually." Spike smiled at her, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Not likely. No fat grand babies for her in our future, are there?" Buffy looked down at her feet.

"We can adopt. Infertility doesn't mean we can't have babies when and if you want them." Spike gathered her into his arms and kissed the tip of her nose.

"You're going to want babies?" Buffy raised a brow and looked up into her mate's frozen features.

"Have to say, the thought never crossed my mind before you came along, but if you want a houseful of brats, I will dig deep and find my inner patriarch." He managed a smile and Buffy stroked his bare chest. "I want you to be happy, Love. Want us both to be happy."

"Well, right now, I really want a cute dress because the whole toga thing is only gonna make Mom crazier." Buffy pouted, knowing full well her mate couldn't resist it.

Spike ran the pad of his thumb across her lip and she could sense his desire to drag her back to bed warring with his fear of her mother. She bit back a giggle.

"I can solve your problem, Love. You might not like the how, but beggars can't be choosers, right?"

"I'm not wearing your clothing out there in front of my mom. That's almost as bad as the sheet." Buffy crossed her arms over her bare breasts and Spike just shook his head happily.

"I do so love a contrary woman." Spike kissed her and whirled from the room, whistling. Buffy bit back a snarl, and tossed the sheet back onto the bed. It was going to be another tee shirt dress special. Her mom was going to hate it and that was that.

"Found something that might do for you, Love. Still has the tags on," he said as he waved an adorable dress in front of her. It was a simple wrap dress in cornflower blue, but it had a floral scarf that went with it perfectly.

"Where did you find it?" Buffy smiled as she grabbed the dress from him.

"It was in one of the crates," Spike stroked her cheek. "Put it to good use."

She dressed in record time, and waited while he took his time selecting a plain black tee shirt to go with his black jeans. The left their room holding hands.

"It's just your mum, Love. It will be okay. She loves you." He smiled as she dragged her feet down the hall.

Buffy shook her head as they walked toward the library doors. Spike was a lamb to slaughter. Joyce Summers would pick his gristle from her teeth.

"I think dusting Angel for this would be fine," Buffy said quietly.

"Yeah, yeah," Spike said with mocking sadness. "Promises, promises."

He pulled her into a warm embrace, her head tucked under his. Buffy felt her body tremble as if it was someone else's. Spike rubbed her back in gentle swirling ovals and she sighed.

"I promise, Love. I will win your mother over if it takes all of our lives." She leaned back and looked up into his handsome face.

"We'd better get in there. The longer she waits the worse it gets." Spike touched her chin gently with his thumb and nodded.

Her mother was staring up at one of the paintings Spike had put up. She turned toward them with wide eyes.

"They're real, the one out in that giant room and this one." She swung her hand toward the painting.

"He was a nice enough bloke, had a good eye." Spike said as he looked up at the painting. "Have a fancy for the arts. 'Ave picked up a piece or two over the years, but his work should be with Buffy. It's like he was trying to imagine her. Suppose it's possible."

Buffy looked at her mate with wide eyes.

"You think of me when you see these?" She asked hereby unable to look at anything but his expressive face. He nodded and her heart beat faster.

"Got more if you must know," he said quietly. "I think I was the one imagining you. Spent years collecting images of you, or almost you. I have been searching for you far longer than I realized."

Joyce turned and looked at them. Buffy broke her gaze away from his and looked at her mother.

"So, this is more than some silly spell gone awry?" Joyce asked, her eyes searching theirs.

"Yes," Buffy grabbed Spike's hand.

"Angel said you could undo it, said I had to save you from another vampire," Joyce looked at them with a sad expression. "He wanted me to talk sense to you."

"The poof doesn't have much sense of his own." Spike snorted. "Can we dust him now?"

"No, he'd just find a way back, but if he tries anything like he did last night we can pour holy oil on him and see if he manages to wash it off before he dusts." Buffy looked up into Spike's eyes and smiled.

"What did he try to do last night?" Joyce asked.

"Well, he tried to talk my mate into leaving me. When he failed he tried to rape us." Buffy met her mother's gaze steadily.

"How could he do that to both of you?" Her mother sat on a chair.

"Rape one, both feel it. It's a favorite game of his, but it would have been horrible for us as mates. The bond is new, just touching others can be difficult. The agony would have been multiplied beyond anything I can imagine." Spike leaned back against a table and rubbed Buffy's shoulder absently.

"So, you are married in the vampire way?" Joyce asked.

"Yes," Spike said softly.

"But she's human. You are still human, right?" Joyce looked from Spike to Buffy with panic in her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm still human." Buffy smiled and walked over to her. "I'm just as human as ever and I am starving. Mind if we order some food and talk this all out over a meal?"


End file.
